Very Possibly!
Altho i dont think id like to try it as a cure for any broken limbs...
Sadly my mum learned this the hard way as she limped around bluewater today on her bad foot as i gleefully skipped from shop to shop :-p
HELLO PEOPLE!!!!!! ive been shopping!!!!
Oooh i love a good shopping session, even if i dont find anything (oh dont worry... i did!) but when even you dont, i still love to look... fashion is in my blood and if im away from it for too long i get withdrawal symptoms! HONEST to blog.
So today started off well... i got up nice and early, listened for mum to go out with the dog, so i can have my lie-in until she'd back and i know i HAVE to get up! But when she was away for 40mins, i started to worry - shes never usually longer than half an hour. This is where things got ugly... my ED hates any changes to the normal routine and i started to get anxious... what was she doing?? had she fallen over or hurt herself? was she doing MORE walking/exercise? i hate to admit that this actually went thru my (ED induced) competetive mind.... it makes me feel ashamed cos i have started comparing myself alot more lately, with my mum, people i see on the street.... and i hate myself for doing it cos i KNOW these people arent in my situation, they dont have to gain whereas i DO, but i find it so hard putting that in my head without feeling guilty. Its not my mums fault she's not hungry! But it still makes me struggle knowing that im eating way more than her....
Does anyone else struggle to try & gain when family members are trying to lose?
Any advice on how to control those nasty competetive feelings??
Anyway, it turns out she met a fellow dogwalker and had a long chat about god knows what! she got home and explained this, but it still made me edgy :-(
Moving on, i refused to let this get me down on bluewater day, so i kicked myself into gear had brekkie and got dressed to shop:
I was in a loving mood!
Bluewater was fun, tiring but fun... we had to stop at apple for aaaages to get mums new laptop and kit her out with all the mac essentials! we had a fab apple helper guy called babz, who was super nice and funny, so it wasnt too painful... PLUS because im a teacher, i got my mum education discount which saved her almost £400!!! (surely deserving of a little compensatory treat pour moi?!?!) and guess what....
SHE AGREED!!!
I didnt waste time... urban outfitters is located directly opposite the apple shop, what a happy coincedence!!! :-p
So i picked up a few little things, which i will photograph (probably wearing!) tomo... cos if theres ever a good reason to dress up in nice new things, its to cheer myself on to a trip to the therapist. HAHA :-)
happy tuesday everyone
im off to veg on the sofa with big brother.... john james i love yooooooou
Ummm YES shopping is ALWAYS a cure for me!! :)
ReplyDeleteAhh your outfit is so cute I love it!! You sure do have good style girly!
That is so cool that you get a discount at Mac because you're a teacher..you lucky thing!
Aw sweetie. About your mum trying to lose whilst you're gaining, I am in the same situation as I emailed you about. I know it's incredibly difficult. But she is a different person to you. You are you. And right now only you matters. Your body is dying to be fed and you can't keep it at such a low weight because it is life threatening for you. I know it's so hard to focus on you but you REALLY have to just say to yourself 'I need this for ME'. Every meal and snack counts for you right now and remember how hard it is to gain like you said remember? It is incredibly hard and you'll make it harder for yourself if you start comparing and cutting out things because then IP WILL be the only option and I know how badly you want to do this at home. I'm here to support you remember? We can do this together with each others help. I know you can stay strong sweetie but you have to focus on you. Your mum is probably overweight and you should definitely not compare because you are incredibly TINY and it scares me and you need to gain.
Keep in touch lovely, I'm here for you xxxx
To answer the title of this post: YES! Haha, glad to hear you had a good time shopping :) And got lots of new goodies!! Can't wait to see :D
ReplyDeleteAlso glad to hear your mum's ok!! Funny, my mind does the SAME thing - it seems to go to the worst possible scenario. For me I don't think it's an ED thing, I've ALWAYS dne that. Where is he? Did he get in a car accident? Is he ok? Did he pass out?? Yeah... dunno why that is!! :P
Hope the therapist goes well, love!
izzyy
xox
I luuurve shopping, seriously, addicted!! i wish i had a money tree, i need to find a rich man :)
ReplyDeleteI used to compare myself to my family and other people, until I realised that comparing was getting me noweherE. There lives are nothing to do with mine, and comparing myself to them wasnt benefiting me in any way whatsoever. I also realised I was comparing myself because I was angry at them, they dont need to gain, they dont have probs with food etc.. I accpeted these feelings as legit ones and then calmed myself by telling myself that I am on my way to that life, I am getting better and trying and soon hopefully, I wont be caring about food, ed stuff, etc.... anymore.
Happy Wednesday!
Fi
x
you are sooooo cute! love the outfit (and blue walls, wow) and love the positivity! what do you teach?
ReplyDelete