thanks, but do i get a gold star?!

Not to toot my own trumpet, but....

I did GOOD today :-)

Me and my mum went back to Bluewater to finally have her computer lesson at mac (she is so technologically backwards its hilarious, she thought you could only get internet of YOUR own computer, she thought if she bought a new laptop she would have to get a "new internet", bless!!!)

Anyway, last time we went i was all geared up to get my lunch somewhere spontaneous and not stick to my safe M&S takeaway sammie.

But i failed....

We were rushing that day and in the end we just got something on the go and i half ate it in the car. NOT good. i was disappointed in myself and i let myself get into a slump, which only got worse when i went on holiday shortly thereafter and we all know where that story ends... its not somewhere i wanna go back to (mentally that is, i fully intend to go back next year and KICK it like the holiday it shud have been!)

So this time, i had the chance to redeem myself. Ive been feeling alot more positive since getting back and sorting out my eating. So today was a bit of an experiment, could i do it? would i struggle with choice and variety? if i cant do it, will i slip backwards like before? All these thoughts flitted thru my head, but it was that last Qn that sealed the deal. Under NO circumstances did i want to allow ED to get his wicked way again and drag me down. if i didnt nail this challenge, it could happen... Well this thought was WAY scarier than the prospect of my lunch challenge! :-p

So i went for it!

when lunchtime rolled around i said... lets go to pret a manger, i fancy a baguette!!!

I used to love pret a manger, especially their baguettes, but ED always told me that they were too high in cals and white bread?!? uhh i dont think so!! Plus those rows and rows of sandwiches all lined up, ill be honest, freaked me out! i have a problem with choosing things and when theres so much there to pick from, i get overwhelmed and leave.....

Argh, what to have???

But not this time! Two fingers to you ED, im having my lunch here and you can go swivel!

You know what, i really enjoyed it! and the feeling of accomplishment has made me bounce about all day like a dog with a new chew :-p Plus knowing that my mum was proud of me, made me feel like this is something i can keep doing. I feel like i can do alot better if i can just keep that motivation and have someone to keep pushing me. Ive told mum that if she notices me scrimping on my MP, to remind me of what im trying to achieve... i even wrote a list of things that she can recite back to me to keep me on track!!! Im determined to get out of this ED ruled mindset, just like Fi said... im a grown woman, i have my own mind... its time to start using it!

(sorry Fi, i would link to your page but i dont know how!!!)

*technical support needed* if anyone can tell me how to do this

that would be fab!

and there was me saying my mum was the technophobe... D'oh!

xxx