wakeup call

Ahhh a saturday lie-in... 

possibly my fave time of the week :-)

altho i did get a cheeky early morning wakeup text from my narcoleptic friend (hehe) but sleep cleo is somewhat short on the attention span, even shorter than awake cleo, which is saying something!! 

this is what it felt like!

Its nice and sunny outside today, altho still abit rainy. I feel like spring might just be thinking about poking its head round the corner of this endlessly LONG winter.... which leads me back to thinking Jeeez girl, gain some weight already! i want to be back to normal by spring/summer (well, at least when it gets warm and i want to wear normal clothes) i had a target of making sure i was healthier looking by my bday, but with everything thats been going on i havent really taken it that seriously. which is STUPID. cos time has rolled on (as it does...) and im still too skinny. i dont think ill be looking much improved by my bday and that mean ill be disappointed when i cant dress up and enjoy myself like i wanted. ARGH why is this so difficult?!?!

Anyway. Ive been busy this week sorting out the timetable for my GCSE year practical Art exams. Total coincidence but damn lucky, is that the week ill be stuck invigilating the students doing their 10hr practical, is the same week the inspectors come back in to do the 'educational' side of their inspection.... hahahaha. so they wont be able to assess me cos i wont be teaching that week. PHEWsers. i was stressing about the amount of lesson plans, schemes of work blah blah blah id have to dig out and update, but now i get to breathe a bit.  

Anyway, im off upto londres again this afternoon. work tomo and i get to wear my new uniform!!! yeeeee. altho i havent had it shortened yet so ill have to resemble a frumpy mumsy type for a couple of weeks till i get round to it, not that it matters... its too cold to be wearing it without jeans underneath anyway. layering baby, thats where its at! 

(if u dont believe me, just ask marc jacobs!)

ohmygod... <3>

and its back on...

Im in a better mood this week, a certain person has decided that they dont want to be cut out of my life after all, despite me now always being able to give them what they want.... but YAY! contact is restored... (watch this space!)

Other than this its been a tough old week. School started up again after the half term break, and what better ay to ease ur way back in, but to have OFSTED come in for an inspection. Gee, thanks. saying that it really wasnt so bad... they were only in for 2days and it was more of a pastoral checkup this time, then they come back in a month to check on the educating side of things. i BET they end up coming back the week im giving my yr 11s their gcse practical exam. that'd just be too typical!

Sooo, i did all that preparation for nothing! (not that i did ALL that much, hehe) but those early mornings did take a bit of getting used to again. its weird, you have ONE WEEK of lie-ins and suddenly ur body decides it quite likes getting to sleep till noon and doesnt ant to swap back to the old getting up at 6am lark, can you blame it?!

Mum gave me a lift in on monday, so i didnt have my usual walk in. I didnt even feel too bad about it either. usually i like to know ive had my morning wake me up workout, but i still walked home after i took my after school art club so i got some excercise in.

It really clears my head when i walk, i could walk for miles and miles (as ong as its not raining-grr) but i shud probably cut down on it since im not having much luck with putting on weight. I KNOW i need to gain, but its still so hard. im stuck in my habits and altho i definitly want to change and get back to a normal weight so people stop looking at me like im sick... ive given myself the goal of (hopefully) going skiing in easter if ive gained weight, but right now i dont think its very likely.... :-( 

Ive been thinking alot about how i eat when im with other people vs by myself. A fellow blogger has inspired me to start taking photos of everything i eat and then checking it off with someone at the end of the day to make sure i get enough to put on some weight. It too easy to convince myself that im getting enough when im clearly not.

Oh dear, this post started off upbeat and has now turned somewhat depressing. I think i better stop before i bore the computer into sleep mode!

holiday? what holiday?!

Huummmm. so even tho this has been my half term week off, i feel like ive been just as busy as usual! Its baaad timing that our school is being inspected next week, what with all the crazyness going on in the art dept. I guess i'll just have to pull thru (as usual), and hope that they will grant me some sympathy as to why some of the marking isnt up to date and the classroom is a bit of a shambles! oh well. its not my fault!!

Anyway, this week ive been mostly: 

1: lounging about thinking about doing work stuff but not actually doing it.

2: Feeling guilty about not doing work stuff (durr)

3: trying to get outside the house (claustrophobic tendencies!)

This week has pretty much been a washout weather-wise, what a surprise... what is it with english weather?!?! altho it was nice and sunny on weds. which actually was abit of a bummer cos i thought, ooh i can get outside and have a nice stroll, but Noo, mum organised me another doctors visit. Sooo bored of always having to be popping to the doctors like some kind of zombie. but still, it went ok and i got to see my fave nurse anne, who takes my blood (or tries, before my grumpy veins close up shop!) and we had a nice chat about her love of gardening and how she makes her own hand cream (love!) with calendula and herbal goodness, she invited me to get some when she has her open garden thingy in june.... :-)

Havent really seen much of mum this week, as she's been working round the clock (she's like superwoman) so lastnite i decided to make her a nice dinner and have some catch up time (in front of the tv... right.) i cooked my famous tasty roast chicken with rice, veg and lots of onion (and garlic) gravy! she always complains that the morning after this meal she has to stand back when she talks to customers cos her breath is so garlicky! but i LOVE IT. i dont care, its good for you and it tastes yumzo! after that i baked (okay, took out the packet and micro-ed) a naughty lil melt in the middle choc pudding from GU.....

wowzers

Anyways, this little delight was inspired by the Raymond Blanc programme we watched on tues, and mum was practically drooling as he made this concoction, so i googled the recipe and decided to make it for her. (however, after finding the recipe and wondering what the hell half the ingredients were, i decided shop bought would be juuuust as good!) 

Yeah, fine, call me a cheater.... usually im RIGHT THERE with the baking, but this was a tricky one and i didnt have the time if i wanted to make the roasty chuck aswell.

Tbh, it was a little bit too chocolatey for me. im not that big of a choc person, but since mum has a bar of green and blacks every night before bed, i trusted her judgement when she said it was GUUUD.

So here i am today, had my last nice lie-in of the week before i head upto london for work this weekend (dont ask me why i work 2 jobs and therefore have ONE day off a week, im a crazy-obviously) then a hearty bowl of porridge before walking (YES, cos it wasnt raining!!) into school to try and get some lastminute prep done for mondays inspection. 

IT WAS CLOSED!!!!

gutted. it was open everyday this week! why today?!?!? oh well, i picked up some foodies from the supermarket over the road and headed home. 

hey, is it my fault i cant do any proper work?!? not this time apparently! woop woop!

pancake porn...!

So it was pancake day yest... and boy did i mak the most of it!!!

Considering its like the first shrove tuesday in AAAGES where i havent been in school, i thought id better live it up pancake stylee. PLUS if im gonna put on weight enough to go skiing, i gotsta EAT.

soo, i wont bore you too much with the writing, not when you can feast your eyes on these little treats! lets just say, i got creative...

first up. the preparation

a little wrist action :-p

A little toss....

Started with a classic lemon & sugar (for safety!)

Confidence built, time for banana, blueberries, honey and cinammon.

YUM

But not as good as.....

Mister strawb, blueb, lemon & honey. OH YEAAAAH :-)

Mmmmm...

FOOD PORN!!!! 

So i was a happy bunny..... altho i did miss my usual porridge. but hey, when in rome!

Plus i made mum pancakes for pudding that eve, (no pics-soz)

but she got the chef delight. a steamed rhubarb and sugar concoction with cream and raspberries. followed by a simple classic lemon and shuggaaaaaa. she was WELL impressed!

(or at least i hope she wasnt just saying that!) they did look pretty damn good :-)

sock it to me...

So, its been a while since i blogged.... but tbh, i havent really 

a) had the time

b) felt the urge or....

c) had much of interest to say!

Things are crazy at school at the moment, what with N still absent in suspension land. and me doing all the runaround work. (gcse art papers, parents eve, scholarship interviews..... its goes on!) and its all busy busy busy. N was in the paper yest, front page. not good.

it didnt specify names, but it said the school and our dept. so basically, you're there if u havea braincell. Ohhh god.

To top it off, lastnite i was sicky sicktime. must have eaten a dodgy prawn or summat cos i was praying to the ceramic god all night and today had to call off work and lie in bed all day! its a hard life....! but not much fun when you cant hold down food :-(

(i wish mine looked more like this!!)

Feeling abit better now tho, so here i am. chugging down water to up my liquids and make me well for tomo. I have to go in tomo, gotta hand out the GCSE art paper to my yr 11's so they can get some ideas about what Qn to do over half term. 

Ahhhhhh half term... did i mention its next week?!?! ahhhhhhh. the thought fills me with sleepy lie-in, food shopping, internet browing, book reading, clothes shop perusing lovely lovely plesure.

oh yes

its safe to say im looking forward to the break!!!

plus its sis's bday tomo, so this weekend we'll be up in london celebrating. i DAMN hope my icky belly is better by then cos we're going to this lush little family run italian for dinner on sat night and i want some tasty goodness. Think we are going up early so mum can take sis out to lunch with her godparents, but IM gonna make a little hiatus to do some shopping!!!! 

still have to get a few bits for sis and might need a few bits for moi also. maybe a little stop off at wholefoods too to check out if any of the lovely things ive been reading on peoples blogs are available there, DAMN i wish i lived in america. it sounds like they get all the best foodies there. of the healthy variety i mean tho, im not following the 'everythings bigger in texas' rule of eating. its weird that a country can be so divided between fat guzzling, maccy d loving, fried chicken smearing chubbers and the healthy living, clean foodie, wholegrainers.... i guess it IS a pretty big place. i forgt living on this teeny tiny island we call home :-)

Anyway, so things are busy, ive been food poisined and life goes on....

next blog will (hopefully) contain some nice piccys of bdays and wholefoods and halfterm fun.

till then.....

glum

UrGH.

Not feeling tres heureux today...

Its been an okay day at school, but i guess some life stuff is getting me down. Im getting annoyed at how i keep having to give up the things i like for the sake of whatever shit is happening in my world at the time... its like i never have time for myself, for doing fun things. I knew that this teaching/getting healthy/sorting stuff etc was gonna be hard work and consuming of my time and emotions but it gets a little frustrating when people get pushed away because of that.

I hate that ive become this 'off the radar' person who just runs from one obligation to another, work, to home, to work at the weekend, back to work.... I dont seem to have that downtime where people hang out with friends and just relax! i think i need to give up my weekend job, otherwise im going to become invisible and all my friends will think i emigrated (i wish.... australia looks nice!)

Obviously, its not that i HAVE to be so busy. I could just delegate some stuff and just pass on the rest, but i feel like its my responsibility. Im a proud person (okay, im a stubborn person) and i dont like to ask for help... i like to deal with things myself. (aries much?!) 

But the question ive been asking myself lately is: when is enough enough?? has it come to the point where i cant be little miss fix-it anymore?

I think this next couple of weeks are going to be very difficult. i need to start making choices and deciding what is important to me. what i want from my life and how i can get it.

sacrifices will have to be made.

urgh, that sounds like im going to slaughter a cow or something!!!

So, here we go.......

2 for 1... ;-p

Hahahahah, "Teenage Boys Gone Wild!"

How happy those hormonal teenage boys are to have not one, but now TWO young pretty art teachers around the place! Funnnnnny!

So the temporary supply teacher started today, and she seems really sweet! A little older than me but still on the same wavelength, its SO nice to have someone to talk to who is into the same stuff and even has similar problems with food intolerances! OHMYGOD! its good to have someone understand why im not having tea and biscuits in the staff room with all the other teachery teachers. So we just sat out in the art room and gossiped! yay!!!

Luckily aswell i dont think she's interested in any long term job here (phew!) cos she lives an hour and a half away so its a mission for her to get in 6am drive in...?! ouch.

Still, i think its gonna be good having her around, even if it is only for a few weeks... PLUS my timetable is easier, so the pressure isnt all on me. thank god.

Also, the 'other' year 11's that were trouble on mon, were a little better. at least theyre doing something now! still, finding the classroom covered in glitter was not my favourite moment...

QN: what is it with boys and glitter?!? i thought it was a girly princess thing, but hells no. they LOVE that shiny stuff! 

Got my first demands for parents eve this afternoon. Im trying to wing it so i only do upto 5pm, otherwise i end up sitting there doing nothing for hours in between. Plus, spoke to V and he said that with the current situation, most groups will be unable to have interviews because of N being suspended, so hopefully it wont be the long, tiring evening it was last term.

So, all in all... not a bad second day of the week. Supply's not in tomo so i'll be flying solo again,lots of work to mark/catch up on and some new classes to take on. So its a good thing she's got a day off... but thurs im sure i'll get to know her abit better. as they say... its always nice to make a new friend! Cant believe its been a week since N left. weirrrrrd.

Monday glumday.... 

I was so tired this morning, i almost didnt get up to do my stretches... Mum left for paris this morn, so everything was abit rushed. Still i got off to school ok and (hopefully) she shud be safe and sound 'dans paris a ce moment'. lucky her!

Ive had a weird day. everything has dragged... and ive got so much more to do now what with taking on N's timetable. people keep piling more and more on me and im starting to get a bit overloaded. (cue my face on the body of a heavily laden donkey)

I had my first class with the other year 11's. its a smaller class, but my god do they take more work. they just dont wanna bother doing anything. lazies. then cos they havent had me in any classes, they act all cheeky and muck around. But i cant inflict muc

h discipline on them cos theyre not my class and it feels weird. plus theres not much i can do, cos there into the coursework stages so it wouldnt do much to put them in detention anyway :-( hopefully the more i tak them they'll settle down abit. fingers crossed!

Then i had an email asking me to do the prospective year 7 scholarship interviews next week. Grrreat. so i have to schedule time off to interview external pupils coming into the senior school and pick the ones who qualify for scholarship. urgggh. Still its something to add to my qualifications, so i cant complain. Also gotta oversee the junior art scholarships, but that wont be so hard... more just looking at their work and picking the best! easypeasy, right?!?

So a busy busy day. which to top it off was made more stressful by the addition of a text from dad. he's still pushing for a meet and do dinner thing. Im a little bit wary tbh, im not sure why he is so desperate to see me on my own, and why so sudden and urgent. i dont want to be pushed about whats happening in my life and when am i going to meet up with L, meet the family etc. its all abit too complicated right now and i know mum feels awkward about us combining families. i dont know what to do..... i just need abit more time to think, i mean dnt u think ive got enough to think about right now!!! 

Stupidly thought it wud be a good time to ring sis and ask her about bday plans. GRUMP. she doesnt want to do anything cos we cant do it on her actual bday.. Gee, grow up much!? i hardly ever celebrate my bday on the actual day, im just happy we can all get together at all! but now she says she doesnt want dad there at all. even tho he helped her out with her maldives trip. oh well, you cant force something on someone.

So now im going to curl up in a little ball of cosyness away from all people, so nobody can find me and ask me to do something for them!!! Eat some dindins, watch some mindless tv (Ooh, I have a lovefilm arrival!!! 17 again with zac efron. Cheeeeese alert!)

Then i think i'll have an early night o im fresh and ready to introduce the new supply teacher to the crazy art dept tomo morn. Arghh!!!