chomp chomp chomp...

Aaaand that would be the sound of me EATING MY WORDS!

cos that "oh-so-boring" nature reserve trip actually ended up being kinda fun :p OK, alot of fun!!! even amid the shrieks of "MISS.... we caught a FISH!!!!" haha.

our lil fushy....

i said it was small!!!

The main saviour I think tho, was that we were pretty lucky with the weather (Man, am i really talking about the weather again?! what is WRONG with me??!) It was sunny most of the day and not TOO humid, whereas today it has poured with rain all day... I cant imagine we would have had half as successful a trip if it had rained and we were stuck outside all day. especially next to a big "eco" pond. Ummm, soggy AND smelly?! ill pass thanks!

This place is so eco, they have HIPPO'S in their toilets!

So the day was split into two - in the morning we went to a variety of different pond environments and swooped our nets in to try and catch stuff... mainly little shrimp, water boatmen, teeny fishies and ALOT of pondweed :p

so much pond weed, so little time...

shrimp cocktail?!

Then back to the centre for lunch before the afternoon's activity - where i had a chance for my competitive nature to come into full force! We were split into teams and set an orienteering activity... Which  naturally my team (the now infamous team sweetfeet) won! I know its all about the game and winning doesnt matter... blah blah blah. But come on! 1st place feels better than 2nd... So we put our best efforts in and took home the priiiiiize! which was a free ice-cream from the shop. OH YES! lovin those small pleasures peoples, we know how to party :p

come on team SWEETFEET!!!

look at 'em go!

Anyways, OBVS the main thing was that the kids had fun and the fact that i did too was an added bonus... it really wasnt half as bad as i thought it would be! (i mean, i dont think ill become a regular visitor or anything! but i wouldnt run away screaming if i had to go again...)

And now (thank god) its the weekend! im exhausted and soooo ready for some sleep... bring on my saturday lie-in!!! My eyes are already drooping in preparation...... xx

whats this?!

SHES BACK!!!!

Haha, well hellooooo friends!

Im sorry for being a stranger over the past week... But as you know if you saw my last post (which i must apologise for the lack of excitement and variety - but writing a blog post on an iphone = HARD!) i have been without internet. Its been hard - i wont lie! But as of this afternoon, its back on! Yipeeeee!!!! and the world can start to turn again :p

Ok, i know that sounds a little extreme, but seriously - living without internet is not easy! i forget how much i use it, just to check little things, obvs to do work on, but even just to mindlessly surf when i need to pass some relaxing chill-time. Its like an inbuilt "go-to". But NOPE. it was all gone... zippo. zilch. nada.

Im kindof embarrassed to admit it, but i even kept turning my laptop on again to "check" that i wasnt mistaken! but sadly, all the willpower (and staring with my laser eyes) in the world couldnt persuade it to work. it took many hours complaining to multiple call centre operators in india and then two failed engineer visits last week (cue MORE angry phonecalls from yours truly) and then FINALLY today, two engineers came out and fixed it. Bish Bash Bosh. But why couldnt they have done that last week, i ask you?! Grumble Grumble.... :p

Apparently they were quite pretty too, so the mumatron tells me.... i guess they tried to sweeten us up with a little eye candy. Hmm, no fair! I hope it was all worth it for the mothership, she needs it more than me anyways, i just wanted my internet back on! (hello anorexic lack of libido... arent you fun?!) But yeah, the mumatron decided to come home for literally a night on monday and then she left again today. She wont be home till next monday now and i didnt see her since last monday... That shit CRAY! Its tough for her... trying to make enough money to live on means she's working non-stop. In fact, shes away so much that i almost forget what she looks like! (note to self - must take a mum photo!)

But despite my obvious upset at having no internet, i think it actually did me good...! i felt less consumed with being online all the time, freeing up time to spend with friends (over the weekend) chatting with mum and calling my dad on the phone. but i did find myself getting bored... so my lovely friend nikki lent me a selection of cheesy girly chick flicks to keep me entertained!!! 

Ive also managed to get started on a book! Ive been reading a very interesting story about an anorexic's journey to recovery... called "an apple a day". Its by an author called Emma Woolf (the great-neice of virginia woolf) and i had heard her talk about her ED on a show called supersize vs superskinny (which i dont normally like to watch as it almost glamourises bad diets - both from excessive eating and dieting) But her story intrigued me and so i got the book out of the library... it has definitely given me some food for thought (excuse the bad pun there, i couldnt help it!) 

And if anything, im proud of myself cos i never usually find time to read, my brain is always whirring and i always feel like i shud be actively "doing" something instead of sitting and reading. it seems like a lazy luxury.... and its more of a chore anyways, cos my brain is so hard to pin down! i used to love reading, id get through several books at a time! but these days i literally have to MAKE myself focus on the pages, or i dont get anything out of it.... 

damn you anorexia, for starving my brain of its concentration.

( SORRY - i just had to slip in a quick rant there... aaand, im done!)

So, i may have the internet back but im gonna try not to spend TOO much time on it... i dont want to be sat obsessively looking up ED related topics, exercise amounts and "health" talk all the time - Its counter-productive and it only fuels my anxiety. In order to live again, i need to get out and LIVE! Im still very grateful for the online support and i DO still need that reassurance (so dont worry, im not going anywhere!) But i realise that ive been spending too much time comparing and obsessing about things that dont really matter. I nit-pick and overthink instead of just getting on with things! Normal people go about their lives without analysing and pre-planning every last minute and they're ok! I need to stop hiding away from the things that scare me or make me uncomfortable....

And speaking of uncomfortable! Tomo is our yearly school "trips" day, where the teachers take each yeargroup on a fun trip as an end of year treat. Well, most of the years get to go to a theme park, or to London or to the zoo... But sadly the trip ive been enlisted on, is to an "ecological nature park" - to go pond dipping for soil and water samples... OOOOH stop! the excitement, its just killing me :p

Sexy?! 

in a word. no.

It was organised by the science teachers (go figure) and call me boring, but im just sooooo not up for wading about in some smelly pondwater!!! im hoping it will be nice weather so at least i can just sunbathe and have a kick-about with my form group, but we'll see.... Ive also been told to take plenty of bug-repellant, AND i think its safe to say im not really giving this trip a particularly warm embrace. OH well. its only two weeks till the end of term.... i cant really complain :)

wish me luck tomo guys!

as long as i dont fall into the pond or get bitten to pieces by bugs...  

...ill be happy!

Waaah!!

I'm sorry guys, I HAVENT dropped off the face of the earth...

But I HAVE got no internet :(

Literally the most annoying thing ever, I mean - how did we cope before wifi?! If k didn't have SOME access on my phone, I'd be in tears right now!!!

Hopefully it will be fixed early next week, but since my Internet providers are total arse-hats... Who knows. The one good thing that's come of it tho, is that I'm getting out and doing more. You can't sit in front of a laptop that doesn't have any Internet... It's like staring at an empty box. Sad and s little bit weird...!!!

So I'm doing ok, only three more weeks of term left- Woopwoop!! It shud be pretty easygoing now anyways, so I'm looking forward to winding down and enjoying the last few weeks of teaching :)

I will check back in when I have proper wifi, cos I can't actually see what I'm typing on here and it cud be a proper bundle of nonsense!

I'm still checking in... so don't be a stranger! And ill be back soooooon :) x

not to toot my own trumpet, but.....

...I juuust might have had me a READY MEAL for dinner lastnight!!!

MILD (thankgod!) chicken curry

It wasnt easy - it was playing on my mind ALL freaking day, shall i restrict, shall i do more walking to make up for it... I wont lie, it took REAL strength not to bail out at the lastminute and have something else! but nope, i knew what i had to do! Into the microwave it went and PING - dinner is served.

And y'know what? 

it was goooood 

:p

SO... i would just like to state that recovery challenge : eat a ready meal has now been completed. 

achieved...

....accomplished.... 

....DONE!

id say thats ten points to me, and sod offs to anorexia!

bish bash bosh 

x

friends are for life not just for rainy days

Hellooooo weekenders... is your weekend treating you well?!

Mine has been pretty fine so far, despite the weather (STOP: RED ALERT!!! she's talking about the weather again...!!!) Haha. No, but seriously...

IT'S RELEVANT!!! 

well, kinda... :p

Today was fun. I love hanging out with my buddy, he can be very difficult sometimes and flakey as hell! you literally never know if he will show up or bail out at the last minute.... but then, havent we all felt like that at times?! I know first-hand how hard it is to be sociable when you suffer from mental health issues. And that anxious feeling you get is emphasised ten times over, so i dont judge him on it when he does cry off, even if it DOES mean that my day suffers and consequently my struggles can be affected. but i understand, ive done the same thing many a time and its not something that happens cos you "cant be arsed", like some people might think. Hells no. Its what happens when you cant quite hold everything together... But the upside is that when we DO get together and hang out, we have a blast! We can be totally honest about how we are feeling, we can talk about whether things are getting too much or congratulate each other when we've done something that we KNOW is hard. Either way, its good to be able to reassure each other that we aren't alone and this is not something that makes us 'bad' people... if anything, it makes us STRONG people! So yeah, i always have time for him...

Anyways, our adventure for the day was to go down to my old college and check out the final year art show. which was soooo much fun! I was gonna go anyways, but it was awesome to take someone with me to discuss the work (and bitch about which ones were poo Vs which ones were good) Haha, Art is a competetive world guys and if you dont put in the effort... it shows!!! (dont worry, we werent TOO mean! just a little constructive critiquing amongst pals :p) 

Here are a few of the pieces i DID like....!

distressed & textural mixed-media...

fine-point etching onto metal saws...

word-play installation...

layered drip-paints.

It was pretty strange to be back in my old stomping ground tho, even if it is ALOT fancier now! I saw my old studio space and we walked past the cafeteria where i used to chow down chips and beans for lunch almost everyday.... Ahh, i cant pretend it didnt make me feel abit nostalgic for the past. Those days were so much fun, we were so young and carefree - we had our whole futures ahead of us and it seemed like nothing could touch us.... 

thats not to say that i havent got a future ahead of me now.... 

im still reasonably young after all!!!

But things have changed, back then i had a heap of confidence, yeah it was probably a naive, confidence... built up from having fun and being popular (shallow, perhaps... but i was young, i didnt know any better!) I honestly didnt think twice about living life exactly as i pleased... i wasnt a brat (it kindof sounds like i was!) But i was just a teenage girl doing what i wanted and figuring out my life as it happened. No rules or plans, just rolling with the moment! Not like now - where i live my life by a strict regime, too scared to change but at the same time, frustrated by my lack of change. 

Its hard for me to remember those days, but it IS a good reminder that i still have a future ahead of me... and that future CAN be fun and free and not dictated to by a nasty illness in my head. IF i want it to be. It seems so simple... i just have to take it. But even tho i know im allowed to take it - it is mine after all! I still have to get past the feeling of guilt for thinking i deserve to have that choice. 

On wards and upwards peeps. The mothership has one of her friends from the fairs she does staying tonight... which is good for her (she doesnt get to do social things much) but its already thrown my ED into panic. Im worried about food, cooking, sitting in front of the tv, having someone in my 'space'.... the list goes on. But they are all silly, unnecessary worries. Things that other people wouldnt think twice about. Which i HATE cos it shows me how disordered my brain is.... But i am determined to get on and NOT restrict or hide cos there is someone else here. I will try and continue my evening as i normall would, just maybe with a little more anxiety and a little less relaxation. But thats ok. cos saturday nights are aplenty. There will be other times to chill, i cant have everything "perfect" the whole time!

I guess ill have to fill you in on how that goes tomo :p

moi - aujourd'hui

dont stop me now!

Cos its the weekend and that means..... 

im FREEEEEE!!!

i had to stay late at school marking a load of books and it was really weird leaving so much later than usual... i have to admit, im the first one out the door when that bell rings! Its not that im a slacker, i just prefer to get my work done at home, rather than spend MORE time after schools over :p

So now its officially the weekend and even tho i do have a little bit of work to do (still got those pesky subject reports to finish... the deadline is monday so its NEARLY done with!!) im determined to make this weekend a good one. one that COUNTS! Sooo, tomorrow im going to have a nice lie-in - but not an all day lie in where i dont get up till noon and then dont eat breakfast till lunch and then get all loopy and ED-ish. No no no. Im gonna lie in till i naturally wake up, then casually (emphasis on casually!) get up, without obsessively stretching (must stick to this to prove i CAN) and having a nice shower and breakkie before i get ready to meet my friend Adam :)

We had such a good chat and catch up last weekend, that he suggested we do it again! bless him... he struggles with mental health issues too and i know he appreciates having someone to talk to about it - just as i do too! its nice that we can relate to each other on this personal level... we've been besties for years, in fact he's the first person i started "hanging out with" again after i was ill and housebound with M.E.... so he means alot to me! ANYhoo. we are gonna meet up in town and wander down to my old stomping ground, the institute - where i did my art foundation course. I still pass by it almost everyday, but this weekend final year show is on so im gonna go and check out what talent the fine art course has produced this year! Should be fun :)

So thats my saturday plans... i think the mothership is coming home in the evening, which is fabooshski. Hopefully we can have a nice dinner and maybe do something on the sunday, i know she wanted to get a birdhouse type thing, so maybe ill drag her down to homebase or B&Q for a "non-active adventure"... haha! Otherwise there is a yoga class on, but i dont really have any spare casheroonies to spend at the moment, so im trying to do frugal cheapy things instead!!! plus i dont want my ED and obsessive exercisey head-stuff to start making me feel like i "have" to do yoga, sometimes i just cant be arsed y'know! unlike walking... ahhh how i love me some walking :p

RIGHT! im off to potter about getting bits and bobs sorted for my OH-SO exciting friday night.... in front of the tv. Sad?? perhaps, but what can i say - im an overworked, underpaid, EXHAUSTED teacher. i defs deserve some chill-time :p

Is it just me, or does anyone else value a nice cosy night in over a raving night out?! maybe im just getting old!!!

Have a good friday night all you party people... 

WHATEVER your plans are!! 

xx

when safe foods become scary & fear foods become.... exciting??

Im in a weird old food-mood today guys...

Maybe its the weather - which is also in a proper funk (Yeeeea, do i talk about the weather too much?! haha, cos it really dictates my moods, so i guess its just THERE. i dunno, its kinda relevant :p) But ive been starting to feel like i just cant stomach my usual "safe" foods and since i dont want to have nothing, ive been starting to look at fear foods in a "hmm, how YOU doin" kinda way!

I started getting it last week... after i came back from half term ive been really wanting to step up my recovery game. And altho i made changes last week (no more walking in my breaks, only INTO work and BACK) This week i feel like i need to make another step. Its like i know that my time is NOW, i dont want to hang about anymore and i certainly dont have time to waste! Anyway, im sooo bored of the "rules" and the "rigidity". And to be honest, im getting sick and tired of doing the same things, eating the same things, being stuck in freaking groundhog day... its so predicatable. Day In - Day Out... theres gotta be more to life than this!!! So i want to start changing things up, cos why not? If its hard to eat my normal stuff and its hard to eat scary stuff. then its gonna be hard either way! i might as well go with the hard that might just get me a step closer to happy, right?! 

Cos sometimes its just so frustrating... ill go down to make dinner and its like choosing is mentally painful! when i have zero appetite and i dont really crave anything, i just stand there like a lemon cos i dont know what to make! then i get kindof repulsed by it all and i have to almost "food porn" myself to get hungry!!!

Umm, has anyone else experienced this?!

Co its horrible! I know i have to eat, even if it does turn my stomach (luckily ive found that when you start eating, most of the time the food-repulsion feeling eases) so i just end up making the same old stuff cos its easy and altho i do genuinely LIKE it... it doesnt whet my appetite and i dont get much excitement about eating :( Not to mention the fact that it doesnt really challenge my anorexia....

Which is where today comes in... Cos lately ive been wanting to just, i dunno... just go balls to the wall and eat SCARY foods. Like this morning for example - i didnt really feel hungry at my morning break, but i knew i had to have something. so i uhhmed and ahhed about what i wanted (i have a few snackbars and bits and bobs to choose from in my desk at work) but nothing took my fancy. In fact i just really couldnt be arsed! Now the OLD me wouldve used that as an excise to skip it altogether and i wont lie... i was tempted! Mainly cos i thought i could just make it up by having more at lunch... but i KNEW that was risky... cos i get pretty full at lunch anyways and im already trying to add in extras there (OH! i had a totally unplanned pudding yesterday. check me out!!! can i get a woopwoop!! haha, im living dangerously folks!!) But now i just eat cos i know i have to, if i wanna be healthy for Oz, i need to gain weight and gain it NOW. but thats not enough tho, cos eating one extra snack or making sure i have my break everyday is not gonna pack on the pounds. im still only eating very "clean" foods. foods that dont aggravate my stomach and foods that i know and feel okay with...

Its not that i dont WANT to eat other things, i just dont really know where to start... i get scared that if i try to cook them, then i will mess up and it'll taste bad or it'll be a waste cos im only making it for myself... i feel like i could try alot more stuff if i went out to eat more. But i dont feel strong enough to do that by myself and i dont really have anyone else who will go with me :( MAAAAN its times like these when i really miss the boy (yup, him living it up in LA... him who i havent heard from in like a week or so... him who I DITCHED and now, possibly regret???) 

screwed up boy troubles much?!?

GAH! 

as if i dont have enough to deal with in my funky-head right now!!!

Speaking of which, last night me and the mothership had a fight... it wasnt major. It all started cos i need to get a repeat on some of my meds, but they dont just have these types of pills lying around so i have to get them ordered in. So i said id go to boots - but mum said, go to the pharmacy on the road by my school - i said i wanted to use my advantage card - she said id then have to walk further - i said i walk past boots on my way home anyways - she said "oh, thats not on your way home" (implying i was walking more) i got defensive and anorexia jumped in and puffed up its feathers cos i walk ALOT less than i did before and its still more than just "straight to work, straight back" and frankly, what the hell was SHE doing about it?!? urhhh anorexia can be an ugly biatch.

Anyways. the main reason i got so pissed off, is cos it feels like she only ever picks up on negatives and not the achievements i HAVE made. Like did she ever think to congratulate me on the fact that ive stopped walking the 4-5miles each way to work and back that i did before? Or that ive stopped going out in my breaks cos im worried it will make me WANT to walk more? Or even how much of a major challenge it is for me to walk through town instead of around the back by the fields - cos it means people look at me and i have to regulate my speed so i dont look like a crazy speedwalking loon? NOPE - she just goes "well thats alot of walking". Which is ridonk - its actually not even that much!!! its what alot of people do everyday (i see them!) and its probs less than SHE would do if she had to go and get something in town!!! (not that im making excuses... its just how it is)

So, i know its very easy to say "well thats the anorexia talking" and fair play. it WOULD be (and in a way, it might be) So im not gonna bang on. i know there will be people out there who will point out the VERY TRUE FACT that any walking is alot for someone with a BMI under 15... and even MORE so for someone who has an issue with compulsive walking. So dont worry, i know that is perfectly valid and i take it.... but come ooooooon. most people who work a non-office job do some walking! most people wont be COMPLETELY sedentary all the time, surely? (please correct me if im wrong - i know my perception of 'normal' can be somewhat out of whack)

Anyways. ive rambled off tangent again (quelle surprise!) but the somewhat lost message in this jarbled banterfest was that i am starting to stray from my old anorexic "safety-nets". The foods that i once feared are starting to look more appealing, more exciting... If just for the fact that they are DIFFERENT!!! But dont get me wrong, its nice to have favourites and i doubt im gonna replace my love of fruit with a macdonalds addiction... but even old favourites need shaking up sometimes.  And if i wanna get back to the old spontaneous me, im gonna have to start broadening my horizons...

Change is GOOD. 

its scary... but thats good TOO.

Most people will never be fully ready to change, because we are creatures of habit by nature! But unless we make the move to change things ourselves, nothing will happen. You can stare at a kettle till you're blue in the face, but until you turn the switch on... that water aint gonna boil!! (dont you just LOVE my metaphors?! i mean i should write a BOOK or something :p)

Anyways, since one of my bestest Amurrcan friends is a MASSIVE obama fan, im sure she will appreciate me finding and referencing this little gem of a quote...

“Change will not come if we wait for some other person, or if we wait for some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” 

― Barack Obama

wise words Mr President.... 

you certainly know your shizz

 :)

Urhhhh.

Went out with the girlies after work yesterday.... 

Got home late and faffed about...

Didnt go to bed till what-would-be-considered-today...

Didnt get up till noon....

Mooched about on the internet, avoiding writing reports...

and yet 

I still wonder why i havent got anything done today?!?!

hahahahahaha.

hope you've made the most of YOUR saturday 

(but i dont regret mine at all!)

time flies... so savour the moment!!

x

Why is it...

That when the sun shines...

everything feels just more, i dunno.

OKAY-ish?!

TDo you ever find that?!?! Cos this week is already speeding by in a haze of fun-in-the-sun vibes. Is it just me, or is everyone nicer when the weather is good?! im thinking maybe we shud all be injecting vitamin D into our bodies to make us better people :p

But another thing ive found, is even tho i know i prefer warm weather... ive discovered that it also makes me less stressed, more forgiving (on others AND myself) and i find it much easier to brush off bad or annoying things... It just doesnt seem so difficult?! i feel more positive. 

Ive even found myself trying to "create" recovery challenge opportunities just cos i feel like i CAN achieve them! what IS this madness!!! (but that comes with a double edged problem, cos the good weather ALSO makes me wanna be outside walking around more....) But more on that another time!

Heres some proof... Yesterday morning, when i was walking into school - i tripped over my feet (yes i do that - dont pretend its never happened to you) and I literally FLEW to the ground... and this was right on the high street in town, in front of all the fancy "going to work" folk who occupy the morning commute-route. OOPS!

Ohhhh, but it was funny. I mean it hurt like hell. But i managed to save myself by swivelling mid-fall, so i landed on my side rather than the face-plant that would otherwise have happened... Phew. I still managed to graze my elbow (and knee) through my jumper and jacket tho... it was pretty gnarly! But im glad i didnt rip my tights, otherwise i would've looked a right state showing up for class like some scrubber who'd been in a fight at 8 in the morning!haha. Anyways... the point of this little tale, is that despite hurting myself and looking like a total fool, i got up and LAUGHED! and not even one of those "oh dear, people are looking" nervous laughs but an actual HA! look what i did. SILLY OLD ME! type guffaw. Usually id have been upset, annoyed with myself and it probs would have pissed me off all day.. but as it happens, i got up, brushed myself down and tottered off on my way! 

Its gotta be the sunshine

RIGHT?!?!

Well, since my good mood has carried through all week so far, whatever it is. Im rolling with it :)

Its nearly the weekend and im going to try very hard NOT to walk obsessively. So the challenge is one ive set myself before but never really managed to do... 

I want to go into town (walking at a NORMAL pace) and stroll about the shops like a NORMAL person does. Pop into a cafe perhaps and get a drink, go and sit in the park if its nice and maybe get an ice lolly... Just normal stuff that probs wouldnt seem like a big deal to a non-disordered person. But to me, its something i never allow myself to do. Be outside and NOT be walking?!?! well thats just silly to my ED, no no no... outside = walk-time.

Well now, outside = ENJOY time!!! that can include some strolling, but its an "enjoyment" stroll. something that takes place for a purpose other than to burn calories and ease guilt. 

Challenge ON. Im hoping to meet up with my friend Adam on the sunday, so that could be the perfect chance to get the ball rolling. its much nicer to sit and chill and do stuff with a friend, than feeling abit like a loner on your own.

Its sad, but when i think about it - i hardly have anyone to hang out with anymore!!! i mean i have friends... but so many of them are busy... they work lots and have boyfriends and fiancees and they dont really wanna just hang out and mooch around town like a big kid! (i read somewhere that when you get ill, you stay at the age that you were before it all happened and you got sucked into "anorexia's" world. Since i started to get ill just before my 21st and then developed anorexia from there - i really missed a big chunk of my twenties. So im still abit behind in catching up!!) Ahh, but i guess thats where travelling will be good, there will be loads of people in the same boat. With no proper job or commitments and looking to have fun and see/do new things.... ill FINALLY have people to do fun stuff with again! :p

On that note i better go and soak up all the UN-FUN stuff i have to do before that! like marking... and reports... and target tracking....

OhMyLife!

Anyways, here are some pics of the art trips i took my year 8's on this week. They were so good. Im very lucky to have such great kids in my classes, they loved it and really did me proud as a teacher... Just look at their work! It makes it so worthwhile when you see them enjoying themselves and feeling confident about what they're doing. Bless 'em! haha, im like a proud parent.... except one with about 50 kids!!! 

the workshop was on portraits

 (to fit in with what im doing with them in school)

it was based around the witch-trials that took place in our town back in the old days

(dont ask me when, i suck at history!)

So this is what i do for my job... fun right?! well, its not always as fun as this, haha. But still. I consider myself pretty damn lucky! Hope youve all had a good week and the sunshine has brightened up your life abit too :) xx

back to schoolioool

Sooo, today was the first day back after my week off for half term. You're thinking...

But you know what....

It really DIDNT!!!

i know... shocker!

There are days when i just LOVE my job, despite the early starts (hello 6am alarm clock this morning) the general having to be organised (of which im generally NOT!) The "doing" stuff (choosing to take a group of year 8 kids on a trip, first thing this morning? on the first day back?! yes. i AM crazy) and then keeping tabs on those little cherubs (three role calls later and we discover the missing boy is STILL in the toilet...) umm. so, what was that i saying about loving my job....!? 

Ahh YES. cos really - its not a bad job to have!!! In fact most of the time, its actually pretty good fun. I do realise that i basically just listed alot of the downpoints of it...haha. But thats only cos they are easier to list. Cos the GOOD points are all-ecompasing, i cant pinpoint specifics... I get to go in and teach the subject i love all day long! Well that just tops it for me :) It certainly beats sitting in an office or typing into a computer all day! 

I know that when leave, im sure gonna miss it....

Im really NOT gonna miss the staff meetings tho, having only just got home from one....  i mean really?! on the FIRST day back?! thats just mean! Not to mention the endless paperwork (ive JUST finished off the junior reports and now we've been given the deadline for all the senior reports... in like TWO weeks time.... Holy Bumholes)

But there you go... It wouldnt be called a "job" if there wasnt some hardship! And i read somewhere that colleagues who have a good old moan at work, end up feeling more satisfied and happier in their job! So basically - its ok to let it all out!! (not that i have any trouble with that!)

What are the GOOD or BAD points about your job? 

Ive only ever been a teacher (or a shop assistant) so... 

lets share job stories!!

Ahhhh. i do feel strangely ZEN now after my "let it out" ramble :p Lets hope it lasts till my yoga class tomo. Im usually more fast-asleep-dog than downward-facing-dog! But its the last in my 6 week course and so i def wanna go... Im deciding whether to renew for another 6weeks or not, cos i do enjoy it and it def helps me to be more mindful about exercise and wanting to be "active" all the time, but I dont wanna do the evenings anymore... im just too tired after work. Sooo, theres a cheeky new 6-week sunday session that ive got my eye on! Much better :)

Anyways, im off now... so i hope you're all having a Marvellous Monday and I will catch up with you guys soooooon! xx