wotchaaa!

Dont worry guys... im still here!!! Ive been reading all of your blogs and commenting when i can, but life has just been super busy and so i havent got round to posting. Soz!

BUT... i promise i wont hold out on you, cos i have a bunch of pictures from a spontaneous roadtrip i took with my new friend L.... we were total tourists. but who cares, cos LOOKY - we saw KANGAROOS!!!!!

total excitement, as you can tell!

hahaha...

More to come (when i get a minute off work and time to chill with my laptop!) See you Soooooon xx

wandering tuesdays

Since i got here, ive had plenty of time to kill... but how to spend it?! im not great at putting myself "out there" and so i kindof moseyed around in the area i live in, walked here and there... but ive still never really started "sightseeing". I didnt want to be a typical tourist, going to all the obvious places and whatnot. But after 5weeks living here - ive still not seen all that much. Shameful isnt it?! Well, to be fair... i HAVE also been working. Im still working in the cafe, which is nice - but its not that exciting. The clientele are mainly old, wealthy regulars who dont exactly want to hang out and make friends!!  Then theres the other staff, who are totally sweet - but they're all philipino girls and they have their own friends and dont really need (or want!) to adopt a strange british girl!!! i dont blame em! 

Anyways, so the first month has been abit of a whirlwind - finding my way around and getting work sorted. But since i know that when summer (my usual winter - weirdness, i know) comes around, i will probs get more shifts and therefore be working even MORE! i think i need to start exploring more. So since i only work 3-4days at the moment, im gonna try to start using the other 3days to start seeing stuff!

So enter : 

"Wandering Tuesdays"!!!

My working week is broken up quite strangely. i work monday, thurs & fri at the cafe, i have a nannying gig on the weds and i usually see people at the weekend. Soooo - that leaves a random little day on tuesday where i dont really have anything to do. Perfect! So tuesdays will hereby now be my days to go and SEE things. And today, i did just that!

LOVING this gallery...

Moseying around the CBD...

And dont worry.... 

I'll be back!!!

picture update

So ive been a little slack on the old updates... mainly cos im just LIVING LIFE over here!!! ive got a job, working in a cafe. I do three shifts a week, which isnt much but its a start and it gets me a little bit of cash! 

The rest of the time im mooching about, exploring abit, helping out in the house... sitting in the sun :p Its pretty cushty! But i do sometimes feel abit bored and lonely. What with most people working full time jobs/studying - it means that i have more downtime that them and therefore i sit about wondering what to do with myself...

Luckily i HAVE managed to occupy myself without resorting to going off on powerwalks by myself. i have been walking alot, but its explorative walking, not the "I MUST BURN CALORIES" type walking that i forced myself to do, i do still struggle with taking control and choosing NOT to walk more... like when i walk to work, i always want to walk the long way round the park instad of just going straight up the road... but im working on it! I think i tend to be more walk-anxious when i have places to be, cos i try and alkmost fight myself to fit everything in. the days when i dont have anything SET to do, i am more relaxed about it. weird eh?! I guess its a good thing that i only work three days out of seven then hey!?

Anyways, here are some pics to show you what ive been snapping... Enjoy! (and ill try and post some more exciting news soon!)

First up, this was a beautiful set of sculptures i passed in the city... the artist had taken on the theme of australian animals and then almost hidden them into the intricate carvings. they were pretty awesomeballs :)

lizard

snails

whole sculpture 1

sculpture 2

crabbies!

sculpture 2 again

sculpture 3 (heron)

sculpture 3 (snakes)

close up sculpture 3

aussie bird of some kind!

lizard & possumy thing

Then on the theme of animals, here is a little turtle that i saw chilling out in the pond at my local park... how cool is that?!?! i love living next to this massive park, it is SOOO important to me to have green spaces around me and the fact that i can walk home through this amazing scenery makes me very happy :)

BLACK swans!!

cool trees

OH and we went to the australian IKEA.... its huge.

And they have SHARKS!

And veggies....

Then this is a little farmers market cafe place we went to one weekend, called "the grounds". Sadly it was PACKED - so we looked around and then went to another place for lunch! But it was cool nonetheless...

And thats it for now!

Ill update with more pics and stories soon 

xx 

back again...

Hey Y'allllllls...

some street art

Im continuing to have a ball over here in sunny Oz. Sorry i havent been posting more, but its hard cos the internet can be abit funky and i am tres busy most of the time! Its funny - ive gone from living pretty much by myself (and not especially loving it) to where i am now, sharing with 4 other people and constantly have someone to chat to, or just sit & mooch with... its nice!! Plus very good for making me rest up, chill-out and eat big dinners!! Cos for some reason, since being out here i am WAY more aware of how skinny i am and ill be honest with you... i dont like it ONE BIT :(

baked chicken dinner!

I think maybe its because im around more people and am therefore comparing myself to them. I just FEEL tiny, and i know people think i LOOK tiny... i cant shy away from it and pretend its not real like i did back home in my safe little bubble... So operation EAT is still very much on! We have been out for vietnamese (fried calamari and lemon chicken were some memorable faves!) And ive tried Indian too... Yeah, its good. im experimenting more and trying stuff, cos why the hell not?! im in AUSTRALIA!!! But altho its fun to eat new things, actually eating ALOT and on a consistent basis is much harder than i thought! I do eat whenever im hungry now and sod whether its the right "time" or "place", i want to break that ED mentality that food needs to be perfect. Cos its just food, right?!

this says it all!!!

Anyways, i still find night-time is the easiest time to eat, so im chowing down on bedtime snacks, but i dunno... im kindof getting sick of them! its like i used to LOVE having a bedtime snack cos it was a rare time that i "allowed" myself something sweet... but now that im cramming in maybe two or three different cereal bars etc, im not really feeling them so much anymore! I guess i need to find ways of bigging up my main meals more. i still dont get hungry for lunch and it confuses me to know what to eat during the day... i can never figure out what i might want :s

Hopefully that will change soon tho, cos i went round today applying for jobs in cafes and GUESS who got a trial day tomo?! oh yeaaaaaah. ME!!! To be honest, i was surprised how quick it was, i went out - and BOOM. potential job, right there! So tomo i do a trial shift and then after dazzling them with my mad barista skills (ahem... no, i dont drink coffee. whats your point?!) i will FINGERS CROSSED, have a job :)

So thats a little update on things so far... theres been loads more going on but i cant really pin it all down in a post. I think my best bet is just sporadic posting with pics and bits of updates and that... cos otherwise ill start feeling bogged down and worrying about not posting enough or whatever. Im here to RELAX not to stress myself out!!!

an apt card, methinks!

So - until next time, folks... 

Take it easy breezy

 i know i will!!!

:)

down under!

Ok, im a bad blogger.... SORRY!!!!

i shouldnt have left you hanging there, that was mean. but OH.EM.GEEEEEEEE im in australia!!!!! i literally cannot believe it, it is the best feeling ever :)

I have been non-stop since i arrived - well in fact since i left! I think when i last posted it was the night before and i hadnt even done my packing yet... sooo typical! haha. well luckily it all turned out ok, well - ISH. cos when we got to the airport, surprise surprise, my bags were too heavy! So i had to unload a bunch of stuff (who knew nail varnish was so heavy?!) and repack, with my mum helping me out. it was pretty stressful... and that was BEFORE i lost my phone :s

Yup, i was repacking by the check-in desk... when i suddenly remembered my dad was due to come meet us to say goodbye and i hadnt heard from him yet. CUE - check phone... wait. I CANT FIND MY PHONE... 

MAAAAAAJOR panic!!!! i was trying to think where i would have put it down... toilet, weighing area, check-in desk... nothing. I checked through my bag, my mums bag, my pockets. NOTHING... i was literaly shitting myself!!! but just as i was about to enter full-blown meltdown - i found the bloody thing in my suitcase, where it had obvs got mixed up in the re-packing fiasco... oh my word, i was swetaing like a beast - so not cool!!!!

Anyway, about 30seconds after i found it... my dad rang to say he was there. PHEW! i checked in my bags (minus about 5kgs of stuff) and we went to costa to sit and chill out before i went through security...

It was weird having both parents there to see me off, but nice. Dad promised he would leave first, so i could spend some time with the mothership - so after the coffee, we said our goodbyes and he headed off....

After about half an hour, the mumster left too.... there were big hugs but no tears. im a big girl!!! went through security, spent a few hours reading mags and being bored - then ONTO the plane!!!

The first part of the flight was to Abu Dhabi, 6hours and since it was about 10pm - no biggie, everyone was asleep (i cant really sleep on flights so i dozed and watched movies...) The next flight we got from Abu Dhabi was 14hours and that was KILLER :( i was shattered, cos by the time we landed in Sydney, it was 6:30 am there but technically for me, it was still yesterday and i hadnt slept in two days.... holy brain mush.

I was picked up by a friend of the family and she took me and her family (two adorable kids and her lovely hubby) out for breakfast to the CUTEST little cafe near her house. i was so relieved to have something other than microwaved plane food, i had a fresh smoothie and a bowl of granola and fruit. SO FREAKING GOOD!!!! after that she took me to my new place, where her brother and their friend live and i started to settle in... for about 5mins - till it was all go again! 

Ah SHOOT. im running out of time again (seriously, im loving this new "always busy always having fun" me - its exactly what i came here to do!!!) so i will continue the next part of the story when i have another spare min!

In the meantime - let me just summarise.... Australia is AMAZEBALLS. i am LOVING my life, me and everything thats going on. i feel free you guys, i feel like im finally breaking out of that crap thats been weighing me down for so long :) and im SUPER excited cos there is soooo much yet to come. its only just spring here and apparently summer is just the best ever. What can i say.... i cant wait!!!!

So, are you jealous yet?!?!

 sorry - i couldnt resist!!!

I will try and post regularly so you can experience it all too.... but for now - i gotta run!!!

big (aussie) loves! xx

one more sleep....

And im starting to get just a LIIIIIITLE bit nervous!

Im more-or-less packed now (in full lastminute panic-style, as always :p) And i will finish the last little bits before i leave tomo - Which thank GOD, is around lunchtime, so i will have the morning for any last-last minute panics!!

But i dunno. i feel sort of.... 

weird....

like kindof empty? or perhaps its just not quite believing its all real??? I cant put my finger on it :s

I know its quite common to feel complacent in anorexia/recovery... i focus so much on food and exercise and recovery and whether im doing it right etc... that alot of the other stuff just gets swept along in the breeze! But i thought id feel abit more of.... SOMETHING.

Urhh, its hard to figure out my feelings on this. im excited, but still on an even level - not jumping about or anything... im nervous - but again... nothing major, i mean im not tearing my hair out or anything. i only just packed for gods sake!! i just feel like maybe im abit TOO chilled about it all. Cos after all, i am about to leave the country, my home, my family and friends... everything! for a whole year or more. Its pretty intense!!! but yet, im still just pootling on, doing some packing, sorting all the bits and bobs for mum... i occasionally feel like im on the edge of feeling nervous and anxious... but then it goes. weird no????

Anyways... i just thought id try and puzzle it out on the blogosphere - maybe get some clarity! Either way - tomo i get on a plane and leave this funny little island ive called home for  so long and fly off to a MUCH bigger (eeks) and MUCH warmer (yipeeee) place. To explore, discover and have fun....

Whats scary about that?!? 

xx

ummmm.

So this is getting silly now!

I have only got TWO days left till i leave for Oz and i havent even brought my suitcases down from the attic, let alone thought about actually PACKING stuff in them!!! I guess that 'queen of procrastinating' title still stands then... :s

Believ me, I would love to be one of those organised packers who manages to fit everything neatly in into its rightful place, all neatly folded and arranged so they know exactly where things are and whats what and dont end up tearing everything apart in front of the airport desk cos they realise they packed too much and need to make space.... That'd be AMAZEBALLS! but im afraid - that person is not me...

I tend to go for the 'lastminute-rush' packing option. Which generally consists of chucking a load of whatevs into my bag and hoping for the best...! Well, as long as i have my medications, my phone and my passport - i figure the rest is a bonus :p

But this time, i really DO want to try and be a little more organised, i am essentially packing for a whole year away after all!!! 

my adventure awaits....!

Anyhoo. After a busy weekend of leaving do's.. (i will fill you in laters...) i now have to really knuckle down and get some shit done. OHHH dear :s So tomo's plans are as such: i have a hypnotherapy appt in the morning, then i am going into town with the mothership to get some australian dollars, pick up a few lastminute bits and bobs, book a leg wax for tues (soooo needed!!!) and then im meeting my bestie friend for tea and a massage which we booked ages ago when we very cleverly figured that we'd need a de-stressor by this point... and BOY were we right - i cannot wait!!!

So possibly not the most productive packing day.... Buuut. i have allocated ALL of tues for making sure i have it done and dusted :) no scheduled meet-ups, no people to see and places to go and distract myself (apart from the leg wax - but thats hardly a fun excursion IS IT?!....) NOPE. its gonna be me and my suitcases. and we're going to form a beautiful relationship. one based on mutual understanding that when its finished - my bag will look alot more like THIS....

so prettttty

and alot LESS like this...!

OH god.

Hahaha. Wish me Luuuuuck!!! 

xx