im here!!!

hey lovely people....

i made it!!!

The South of France (we are staying near 'Le Beusset', can you find it?!?!?)

I am in sunny france, enjoying some beeeeeeyootiful weather and (trying) to relax, altho it isnt as easy as people say it is!! :-p

After a not-so-bad flight (im a terrible flyer, i literally shut my eyes and hold (crush) the hand of whoever im sat next to (in this case my mum).... for the entire flight!!! haha. but luckily this one was ok, despite a tres bumpy landing, maybe the pilot was drunk?! who knows....

Altho what did freak me out a little was the creepy guy sat next to me holding a teddy bear for the duration of the flight.... what the?!?! i didnt notice until we were landing (my eyes were closed, obvs!) but im just praying he wasnt some pervy weirdo and it was actually a gift for his girlfriend/sister/young child or something!

Anyhooooo, back to the now. Im happy cos i finally worked out how to connect to the internet (i tried everything! but no luck.... THEN i realise that the router is not plugged in.... D'oh!)

But its a very dodgy connection and keeps cutting me off, so altho im gonna try and get online, im having trouble reading thru some blogs... PLUS i dont wanna be an antisocial madam and i DEF dont want to miss out on the sunshine, you certainly dont get this kinda heat in the uk, let me tell ya!!! :-p

As for ED, he has been a nasty b*tch.... I was ok travelling on sunday cos i knew i had to have a proper brekkie/lunch etc cos we were running around catching flights etc! the evening was tricky cos we arrived late and had to make do with what was there.... which was not alot. i made do with an omelette but i was already feeling abit anxious about not having anything ready for breakfast the next day.... (we would have to go to le supermarche first thing)

And surprise surprise, ED was waiting there for me the next morning.... We went early, but things got busy and we ended up not getting back till almost 12 (mum wanted to sit in the square for un cafe, while i read french vogue and bought postcards!)

The village square, sooo pretty & quaint

So when we got home, i was already out of breakfast mode and i have been SO DAMN thirsty!!! i think its the heat and stuff, but i cannot drink enough. oh my god, im like a drain! But since i hate drinking water, ive been glugging back fruit juice, squash and my beloved elderflower cordial (i brought a bottle with me... SO glad it didnt explode in my bag!) so hopefully ive at least been consuming some liquid calories, cos i want so good with the food yest :-(

I dont know why... i am just finding it very hard to actually EAT, i had some salad and crackers and cheese and stuff, but during the day its just too hot. i tried to make up for it at dinner with a big prawn stirfry (ohmyGOD the prawns were fresh big juicy ones and they were AMAZE! i mustve eaten a whole colony of prawnies!!!)

I know i have to suck this up and get on with eating properly, i KNEW this wasnt gonna be easy, but im a little surprised at how quickly ive been drawn back into ED's trickery. Today our family friends (and the owners of the villa) are arriving, so i know when they get here i will have to start eating more anyway to avoid looking like the weird anorexic girl... which im sure i will be anyway, since the sight of me in a bikini is not something that im especially liking right now :-( But at least its serving a purpose, in that i cannot hide from this sick looking bony reflection that i see in every window, mirror, peoples eyes.... its there for all to see and its real. and its time to do something drastic about it.

So today people, im in a much more positive mood. I am trying to squash my feelings of lazyness because im literally sedentary to the point of growing roots, which as you know if you read my blog... is a big deal for me. Im an active person and if i sit still for too long my brain goes into overdrive! But i keep telling myself that this is a good thing, my body is repairing itself and will thank me for this time off. Plus im hoping that if i can just get my head around not doing much activity and being ok with that, then it will help me to continue when i get home... i DONT want to get back and think that i have to compensate... that is not my intention!!!!

I must stay strong.... I must stay positive....

and ooh, I must put some more suncream on!!!!

Im thinking of you all lots and knowing that you guys are there is definitely helping to spur me on :-) i dont want to let anyone down, least of all myself.... So, here goes everything!!!

A pretty pic to leave you with!!!

Apologies for teh lack of my own pics! Im still working out mums new comp and i dont want to mess up my iphone by connecting it to hers.... ive had bad experiences with that before!!!

Hope you're all having a Terrific Tuesday and ill be back soon :-)

Love ya's!!!