settling in

Well guys...                            

...Ive arrived!

Im finally in london, after a way longer than usual drive (there was a big accident on the motorway, it was horrible :s) and im settling in nicely - we've already been out and about, had a stroll down columbia road, where they were selling Xmas trees for HALF the price we paid last year - gutted!! we havent even decorated yet, so we totally could have waited. Oh well!! Then we chilled back here for abit before me and the sis took the dog for a quick ball throw in the park... which we ended up getting locked in and having to try and find an exit, we kept getting to the gates and finding them locked! Gah!!! it was fun tho... and nice to have some "silly" time. We usually only ever fight or bicker, so to have some time alone, just us and be silly and remind ourselves that we ARE sisters. It was a good thing :-)

Long may it Last!!!! (we have a whole week to get through, so im not holding my breath! i know from past experience that it is very rarely plain sailing)

Anyways, so for now we are just mooching about... the sis is upstairs working. i have finally got the password for the internet so i can get online (woopwoop!) and the mumatron is pottering about sorting out her stock for a customer who is popping by in a minute.

Im feeling pretty ok at the moment. i had some serious anxiety earlier this morning about not having done much activity or even gone outside over the past few days. I realise that exercise aside, i NEED t get outside, or i get very antsy... i grew up in the countryside and all of my life i have been lucky enough to have access to the great outdoors. Im definitly not good at being cooped up inside all day long!!! But yeah, im not feeling as fussed about getting my "quota" of exercise... its nice to let myself relax abit. Ive drastically cut back on walking.... as in i literally only walk now if its a social thing (like taking the dog out) or if im going from a to b. which is something i never thought id be able to do!!! However, i am still comforting my ED by doing my pilates stretches and abs stuff in the mornings... it started off as something i just thought id do as i had more time etc. But i realise that if im to feel fully ok about not being active - i will need to knock that on the head too. at least for long enough to prove that i CAN be ok with it. cos at the moment, i still feel urges to do it. i think if i skipped a day it would make me anxious.... SO....

ENTER challenge number one!!! 

Im in london till the end of the week and since my room is the size of a postage stamp there isnt gonna be any space to do my stretches. OH DEAR?? Im serious about the size thing tho, we're talking a single mattress on the floor and then all the surrounding space - which isnt much - is jampacked full of stock (rails/props/junk/clothes and general bits of random vintage stuff) I always find it easier to "stop" habits when im not in my usual routine, so im confident ill be able to do it. I know i will be anxious and im pretty certain my ED will kick up about it. But i wont have the ability to 

a) over-exercise - because ill be occupied with the fam, doing xmassy things...  or

b) restrict - because again, ill be with the fam and there are ALOT of food/meal challenges coming up that i wont be able to wriggle out of without creating a scene and then undoubtedly an argument... Plus ill have to face them at some point, so why not now....?! eg, christmas dinner at out family friends. EEK!!! :-s

Anyways, im feeling hopeful... i WANT this recovery and i need an opportubity to prove to myself that it IS okay and the world doesnt end and i wont get fat/be lazy/unhealthy/bad... you know - all that silly ED nonsense that my head will throw at me in order to keep me safely in my anorexic box. Who wants to live in a box?!?! not me! This way i get a longer time-frame than just the usual weekend or whatever. this is nearly a WEEK. then hopefully i can head home and not slip back into feeling like "i have to...."

So! in summary and to handily answer Qn 23 of the "Christmas Challenge" here's what my Xmas 2012 is looking like....

Tonight: Chilling at the house, decorating the tree OH and foody challenge No1: mum is cooking a roast chicken dinner which we WILL all sit down and eat together :-)

Tomo:(Christmas Eve) Getting up and eating brekkie TOGETHER (not with me waiting and having it later) then we are going to borough market to look around and pick up some goodies for our DELICIOUS xmas eve fishy feast dinner. yumyumHOLYyum!!! Also trying to fit in ice-skating at some point, but i dont know what order this will be in! i think in the evening we are gonna try and nip over to the local pub, where apparently everyone drinks mulled wine and sings carols. sounds cool!

Christmas Day: Having a lazy morning with yummy breakfast, pressies and christmas songs on the radio :-) THEN heading to our family friends for a day of Christmas Shenanigans (and a big turkey dinner... scareeeeey!!)

Boxing Day: Basically ALL about hitting up the boxing day sales :p I think the plan is to drive to westfield and shop till we drop!!! Yipeeeee!!!

Thats about as far as i know for now. but obvs ill keep you updated as we go....

Its weird, cos i totally didnt feel festive earlier today, but i dunno.... i think im getting a little bit excited now that its all starting to kick off. haha... 

BRING ON CHRISTMAS!!!

:-)