our (slightly wobbly) tree!
its the bubbins on a card!!
christmas day outfits in front of the tree...
smiles all round?!?! :p
christmas day fire at our friends house...
their amazingly laid table!
So all in all, it was a pretty good day...! Its just a shame that by the end the sis decided to start making things difficult again. Its been brewing, i wont lie! But yeah... at least the whole day was good (she cant really bitch and moan as much when theres 8 other people around!)
But yeah, things went downhill today :(
I kindof knew that it was gonna kick off at some point... i mean, christmas just isnt christmas without the dramatics of my family situation kicking in and it always ends up with us fighting. Sad but true...
Anyways, this morning we all woke up late cos we didnt get in till late last night... we tripped out with the dog for the morning stroll and despite trying to mind my own business - i couldnt escape the snarky comments and the blatant "ignored" comments... eg "MUM, whats do YOU think about this...." (oh, sorry clem - i didnt even realise you were here/alive/a human being... NOT) its petty, but whatevs. i just enjoyed the early morning fresh air, i dont really care if i miss out on what shes babbling about!! haha.
But then it was time for breakfast and showers etc. I had my shower which meant i was later to make breakkie. As soon as i sat down, she got up with a "humph" and walked out. i mean GROW UP!!!! the mumatron obvs picked up on it (hard not to!) so at least it was entirely in my face. but still....
This kindof stuff carried on till we set off on our way to westfield to hit the boxing day sales. Now since the tubes are on strike today, most people were driving. so shopping centres are the obvs choice... of course it was gonna be busy!!! we queued to get in (and it wasnt even THAT bad!) but she was like hitting the side of the car and bitching and tutting and generally being a goddam nightmare. saying she wanted out of the car and making all these stupid snide remarks about me and how she hated "ungrateful" people (insunating me the whole time....) it was so pathetic!!! anyways. when we got in she stromed off - the mumster called time and then a big old row ensued. Oh what a surprise! Same old shit. and its soooo boring (it must be even more boring for you reading this, im sorry - ill stop!) but yeah. thats kindof what i have to deal with whenever we do "family" things.
Which OBVIOUSLY fucks about with my recovery head. i already give myself a hard enough time thinking that im a bad and unworthy person. but when your own flesh and blood throws that same stuff RIGHT back at ya, then it starts to sink in. you start to believe it even more and that makes it hella difficult to fight against those thoughts....
Im coping alot better than usual tho! its funny - this time i kindof just feel sorry for her. i know shes gonna be a sad, angry and unhappy person for the rest of her life if she doesnt sort herself out. whereas I am gonna get healthy, im gonna get out of here and im gonna live and full and happy life.
simples!
So YAHBOOOOO to her! i will not let myself be knocked down by her shit. i am worth more than her bullying and put-downs. And I know now that its only cos she feels so bad about herself that she needs to take it out on other people - namely ME.
Im looking on up you guys....
i wanna fly again - and im not gonna let anybody clip back MY wings!!!
I'm sorry Sis made things difficult...you are a brave lady facing the sales! x
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