yumzo

Today i went....

blackberry picking!!!!

juicy goodness...!

It was so much fun :-) I think im getting used to this weekend off thing, sadly next weekend i go back to the shop for my (almost) last day... 3more sundays working then im out. Yeah, ill be sad, but ive got my weekends to look forwards to and ive started to like em!!! Plus ive got to stock up on goodies while i still have my discount :-p

So back to the now... This weekend was a little stressful to say the least. We are still trying to sort out whether or not we are going away for xmas and this whole shebang is just getting waaay crazy. We havent booked anywhere yet, prices are going up up up, my sis hasnt got her her dates booked off work and my mum has just left for scotland till thurs. Uhhmm, panic?! NOOO not me. im cool as a cucumber. Im getting well practiced at stepping back from the situation. It will get resolved eventually, but it is NOT my responsibility to organize everyone, finally im coming to terms with that! (a big part of my ED is control based, im so used to being the one who keeps everything together both in my life and with my family, my ED has also taken on those traits. I like to whats going on and be in charge of things, which ive realised is not always healthy, its important to be able to sit back and let others take charge sometimes! PLUS i get enough of being in charge at school anyways, hehe! :-p)

Sorry i keep rambling off the point! I cant help it, i have a short attention span and sometimes my mind wanders off on little tangents! RIGHT, yes, this weekend... okay

yesterday i had open day at school, which was annoying cos it meant i had to work on my day off! Altho you cant really call it work but oh my god, my face was creaking by the end from my encouraging smiling "send your kids here, look how great our school is!" face...

man, schmoozing is hard work!

But when i got home i was rushing anyway to try and fit in all the things i wanted to do with my day, instead of just relaxing and taking my time. So i got angry with mum for not being home when i got back (stupid, yes! WHY i expected her to be there is beyond me... sometimes im such a diva!!!) then i went to waitrose only to be told that the tills had shut down and they couldnt accept card payments. GREAT, so i went to tescos.... oh dear. tescos on a saturday afternoon? NOT fun!!! i was swamped by families, trolleys, small children. ARGH!!! i just grabbed and ran. forgot alot of things, got annoyed again.... do you see a pattern emerging?!?

Another thing thats been stressing is my mum. She is not happy at the moment. the issues she has with her ex are getting her down and it kills me to see her so despondant. Shes not the bright sparkling woman she was and it makes me so sad to see her unhappy :-( But i know theres nothing i can do, and if she gets snappy with me, its only cos she has other shit going on and i SHOULDNT get snappy back....... but i do.

Oh c'mon... im not perfect!! ITS HARD!!!

when someone is getting irritable with you, can you keep your cool?

or do you react?!

basically my mum is not so hot with modern technology! and she was trying to book a carpark space for her flight this morning. She couldnt work it out and kept letting out frustrated yelps from her laptop while i was watching tv. I had asked if she wanted me to do it, but she got stroppy and said she needed to know how to do it blah blah blah. FINE. i left her too it.

but then she starts shouting that the page has closed and shes not sure if its booked and all this, so i went thru and did it for her, but ill admit i was a bit heavy on the old "hmph well, if you'd just let ME do it in the first place....." type thing! She got angry, i got angry. We fought. i booked the carpark...... only to realise...

SHE HAD ALREADY BOOKED IT!!!!!

i got upset and tearful cos i thought it was my fault and id let her down (ED hates letting people down, espesh my mum) she got upset cos i as upset and all in all it was a muchos stressful evening.

Luckily we chilled and made up and realised how silly we were, but it was annoying y'know. i love that we are close but sometimes i hate that our lives are so entwined that if one of us has a bad day, the other one undoubtably gets sucked in too. Tricky. But i think she'll def benefit from a couple of days up north, shes going to this old castle with her friends and they go hunting and fishing and stuff, theres no phone signal and its totally isolated....

JEALOUS!!!!!

i have a full week of teaching to look forwards to AND its therapy tomo morn!

anyone for swapsies?!? no, didnt think so. BOO!

So thats my weekend done. Quite eventful methinks, but probs nothing compared to whats coming next weekend! when ill be venturing back upto london and facing the sismatron, whom i havent seen since the last time she told me she never wanted to see my face again. Not that thats anything new!! Ahh, sisterly love eh, bloods thicker than water and all that! its ok, i know she doesnt mean it... i mean who could NOT wanna see this girlys face!!!! :-p

apologies for the cheesy pic, but hey... my glasses are cool, right?!?!

So anyway, I hope you've all had a fab weekend. Im off to (gorge) enjoy some of those fresh juicy blackberries! Yeeeee!!!

Fingers crossed ive managed to keep up the graining trend tomo. i know i havent been pushing myself fully, so im gonna see whats happened tomo. but i really want to get my cals up to compensate for the higher level of activity im doing now im working again.....

Speak soon lovelies!!

xxx