yipyip

Yeeeeeee! im still alive!!!

Seriously tho, yesterday evening i thought "oh my word... this is it, im going DOOOOOWN"

i felt like all different shade of crap, man its true what they say about you've gotta get worse before you can get better. URGHHHHHH!!

BUT, over here on the flipside..... day 4 has looked alot perkier :-)

I woke up a bit sceptical, and who can blame me?!

"whats this, i can MOVE without excrutiating pain?!"

i even made it to the bathroom unaided! hehe.

So from there i took it step by baby step, managed to sit up and get some work (ahem reading trashy mags) done in bed, then altho still abit weak and wobbly...

.....think this little fella (altho not even HALF as cute :-p)

i made it downstairs!

where i majorly od'd on reality TV, come dine with me is my ultimate guilty pleasure

Still having some problems with the eats, but i have find my hunger returning abit more which is a positive... but that still doesnt help me feeling nauseous after, but ive found that if i relax and try to eat slowly and chew alot it helps (altho i look abit weird!) im planning on having a slightly more substantial dinner tonight, so if that goes well (fingers crossed!!!) i will try and get back to normalised eating tomorrow. YAY!!!

In a way im quite thankful for this little wakeup call. It wasnt fun (or pretty!) But it has made me realise that i DO need to stop and take care of me sometimes... the whole busy busy busy thing is great, i love it. but i need to balance that with some relaxation. Ive realised that by being pretty much sedentary these past few days, i take for granted how much i actually do! Even just being at work and moving around and being busy. its alot! i always thought i was only "mildly active" but i dunno if thats the case!

The other thing that im thankful for is that i have broken my obsessive need to do silly abs stretches in the morning. im pretty sure they are unnecessary (well they are at this weight anyway!) so im gonna knock them on the head methinks! I will be doing enough when i get back to work anyway, so whats the point!

Im not gonna pretend that ED hasnt sneaked a look in today, cos he has. little bugger! (and lets just say he wasnt bringing flowers and a get well card!) Now that im feeling abit better, i started thinking i should get moving again. WRONG, i still need time to heal from the illness that has had me bedbound for nearly a week! and that sure as hell aint gonna happen in a day...

Secondly the return to food... its hard to start eating again when you havent been able to. But i am pushing myself little bit by little bit and i have already made some steps to eating more freely, i truly dont think i will be so scared of eating bread as much now, ive eaten it non-stop for about 5days! And i am planning to gain back this weight aswell as continue my weight gaining recovery journey, so some nice eats are in order to get past this little sickyblip. Dinner out?! why yes mother, that sounds lovely.... yeeeeeaaah!

Anyway lovelies, i said id keep you posted. This was day 4 off work, day 5? of being ill and dun dun duuuuuun.... day ONE of feeling better!!! so amen to that :-)

Sooo, stay posted for day two! (last day of the week, cant believe ive been out for the count for a whole WEEK - dearie me!) Adam is coming round to entertain me with some DVD's, im looking forwards to the company... ive been going mad! Sadly pepper isnt much of an entertainer when all she wants is for me to take her for walkies :-p

enjoy your evening

xxx