not quite what id hoped for

This is gonna be a short one, cos otherwise i will ramble off into a pit of wallow and then feel like a total noob tomo when i come to explain myself abit more rationally...

But i will say: ohmygod. today was not what id hoped for..... 

Im not in a very shiny-happy-place right now. But that could be cos i stink of wet dog and grossness cos ive just had to hose down and wash a disgusting stinking dog that my housemate and her girlfriend just dropped off for me. 

what a treat.

and now they are upstairs having a laugh and a giggle like all's fine and good. Even tho the whole REASON they are here making me feel anxious and stressed out cos i cant quite cope with these changes so soon into trying to have another person live with me, is BECAUSE she was feeling sad. 

well shes clearly not sad anymore IS SHE????? nope, transference is a bitch, cos clearly all that sad and downsome-ness is right up my street. yup. ive managed to take ALL of it.... i feel sad, i feel lost, i feel isolated and i feel guilty, why the hell should I FEEL GUILTY????? this is so messed up.

Plus, to top it all off beautifully.... 

im thinking about how i miss the boy.

im thinking about how shit i am in social situations.

im thinking about why i feel shit in myself.

and i dont have any answers from that "oh-so-clever" brain of mine, nor do i have anyone to talk about it to :(

So i think the best plan is that i just try and ignore the head-funk for now, distract myself with nicer things to try and get out of this unhappy slump and then i can face up to everything tomo. 

"A new day".... and all that.

So this is me, checking in and signing out.... I can hereby state that sunday was NOT my funday. But luckily, tomo is the start of a whole new week and thats plenty of time to get things back to my shiny-happy-place again. Wish me Luck!