Cos he stings like a beeyatch!
what do you mean thats NOT how it goes?!?
Luckily the nurse wasnt this scary!!!
Explanation?!? well okaaaaay then.
Today me and the mumatron went to the docs to get our pre-holiday jabs...
...it hurt.
Nah, im just joshing... it was fine! (altho saying that, i am a seasoned needle expert!!) This may sound abit weird, but it was actually kindof nice to have something going IN as opposed to the usual blood being leeched out! what?! it makes a change! :-p
Anyway, my day has been abit all over the place, im STILL trying to get my head around doing less activity. i want to just stop, but the feeling of guilt is unbearable at the mo.. its totally different to the feeling of guilt i get if i eat a cake or something food related. And in my opinion its worse. well its definitly harder to ignore :-(
I guess cos i can distract myself from the fact that im eating a cake or a fear food, and i can tell myself that it is doing me good and i NEED to eat... i cant distract myself from not walking, cos it IS my distraction. its what calms me down and keeps me feeling fresh and alive. i know this is counterproductive and yes, its probs the ED that is telling me that. but if i dont do something, i feel like im going to shrivel up and be unhealthy and slobbish....
Im starting to wonder if i just need to go cold-turkey! instead of allowing myself a little bit and then always going over that, maybe i shud just say "you can take the dog out ONCE and thats it"... cos even tho i went for a morning walk with my mum, i felt like that wasnt a proper walk cos we were stopping and starting and walking slow while chatting. And after that, when we went into town and walked around the shops for an hour or so... again, i didnt feel like it counts...
but WHY?!?!
im mean, its still walking for gods sake!
Anyway, i did have a productive day xmas shop wise... much better than my dreadful first attempt!!! but i still havent got everything sorted, so it looks like there might be a (fateful?!) THIRD attempt on monday morning, before i head off on holiday. Cutting it fine, i know... but despite being a very organised person, i tend to be abit of a last-minuter!
Does anyone else leave holiday packing till the last minute?
I find its the only way i dont end up panicking that ive forgotten something and unpacking the whole case to double check!!
hey girl,
ReplyDeletei understand how you feel about walking and activity. it's hard for me to force myself to just stop. but i remind myself that sometimes it's the self care i need. and i know that the long term benefits will pay off the instand gratification.
have a fantastic weekend!
Suprusingly enough I'm pretty organised with packing and stuff like that! I can't believe you're going away so soon! Re: the exercise, I dog know what tk say because you know all the right answers! Yea, too much exercise isn't good, yes, daily normal activity counts as movement! I promise up mail tomorrow . Xxx
ReplyDeleteBeing on break now (finally!!!) i can so relate with trying to force youreself to SLOOOW DOOWN...not just for ED's benefit, but for your own! you DESERVE a break - take it!
ReplyDeletesometimes i find doing things last minute makes me most efficient - i've found this especially with school work ;) well, its better to sit down and know you have to get it all down by tmorrow vs. mulling over something for a week, right?? ;)
izzyy
xoxoxo
i am certainly one of those last min kinda people. I don't think it actually gets into my mind that I am actually traveling now and so to keep the anxiety low I usually pack last min and just follow my routine before. stupid I know ;)
ReplyDeletexx