Evening candy canes!
Im in a festive mood (can you tell!?!) ive been in town all day with the mumatron and we've been hitting up some shops, xmas stylee :-p
Now i dunno how you roll when shopping with a member of the fam, but basically for us it means me getting impatient as mum looks at boring stuff and then her getting tired and grumpy while i look at clothes... then us both getting in a strop and heading home!
...ALL good fun, right!?
ahh i loves it :-)
I actually didnt do all that well to be honest! I love the buzz, but i HATE the bustle, y'know... The millions of people all pushing and shoving, the mothers dragging their kids (who takes their kids xmas shopping?!) GAH! the worst is the single mother, with obnoxious family member (usually mother or bolshy sister) pushing a buggy around AND dragging a couple of kids (we live in essex peeps, there are alot of big families here. They dont call em "essex girls" for nothing!!! and for the record, ahem, im originally from london....!!! not that im judging!)
Man, i cant take it, i just want IN and OUT. Its the same in the january sales, i love the IDEA of finding a load of gorgeous stuff at discount price, but the reality is that you find all the stuff you want but in the wrong size and you get your foot trodden on twenty times and end up sweating cos of the incredibly hot central heating and maddening crowds of pushy people!
Ok, so im gonna move on from my rant now, i hope i havent put any of you off xmas shopping... it really is a blissfull experience if you like that kinda thing, may i recommend "late night shopping nights" ooooh they are a TREAT! hehe... But it looks like ill probs have to brave them after all, since i still have to get presents for mum, sis, couple of friends, dad.... (i think i better write myself a little list :-p)
This weekend hasnt been great ED wise, it pisses me off that i STILL find weekends so hard to manage. i mean whats the difference, really?! So i dont wake up as early and i dont have a bunch of kids yapping at my heels all day (i have the pooch to do that instead!) WHY do i feel like i cant eat properly? Im still active (despite trying desperatly to cut back and take it easy...) cos i take the dog out and stuff, so its not like i dont need the energy... but i think its cos i dont have a set purpose to my day. something about the idea of the sitting around and not doing much makes me feel like i dont deserve to eat more.
Does anyone know how to get over a fear of relaxation?
Seriously, someone's gonna have to strap me to the sofa at this rate!
why cant i just let go?!
maybe if i had ross giving me sofa orders id be okay!
(anyone else LOVE this episode...?! PIVVVVOT!)
Anyway, i have therapy tomo AND a meeting with my nutritionist... i have been keeping a food journal for her this week and im abit scared to fill in this weekends (not so hot) eats. I was trying so hard during the week, i hate how easily the time away from my regular routine makes me slip. i really need to figure this out or im going to have trouble getting thru this holiday break without losing weight, i CANNOT keep depriving myself just because im not at work.
The one saving grace is that i will be going away on holiday and will have no excuse not to eat, my sis has an eye like a hawk (she had an ED herself, so knows all the signs, excuses, tricks etc that ED will pull in order to get its way) In a way, im kindof looking forwards to that, its the equivalent to being in an IP situation. the pressure is off me, i cant wiggle around her like i can with my mum, she wont take any sh*t... i think thats kindof what i need right now....
its time for abit of that sisterly "tough love" action!
sometimes, i think its the best way to play...
(espesh when your ED brain wants to have its say-NOT good)
School tomo and its only 3days till we break up!!! yeeeeeeee! i have bought all of my form xmas cards with a candy cane to get their blood sugar up and turn them into little hyperactve monkeys, hehe... i dont have them 1st period, so someone else can reap the pleasures of that sugar high!! :-p
BUT these last 3 days are crucial in terms of challenging myself to eat more so that when i stop school i will hopefully feel the effects of a revving metabolism and things will be easier...
Hope you're all feeling the festive buzz.... I sure am!
but then again, it could just be all those camel balls!!! :-s
xxx
HA
ReplyDeletethe sofa episode, when they carry it home and try to PIVOT it up the stairs and he cuts it in half...
o I DO adore friends. I used to watch it every morning getting ready for school/college. I managed to watch most episodes...a good 5 times doing this. Thank you Channel 4, and E4 for ALWAYS having it on at some point in the day. Nothing like a Ross and Rachel pick me up.
your description of january sales is hilarious BUT ooo so damn true!
Sneeky, hope the sugar candy canes send them roaring - nothing like a bunch hyper active kids filled with festive spirit bouncing off the walls?
Write down the truth in that diary however bad it is. Sometimes I hate seeing it on paper the s**tnes of the day but it also boosts me to want to write something to be more proud of...then again - i'm a perfectionist so even if the day was good i would find fault in the handwriting or something odd?sigh. i'm an idiot i know, BEMYFRIEND? awkward.
Going away with your sis sounds good :)
yay for festive spirits, decorated the tree earlier and the front room seems complete with a tree in it y'know? I wonder why we put a tree in the house...it's a bit odd really when you think about it. Maybe i shall google...
google tells me all.
take care, enjoy the last 3 days! It's like the home run until the holiday begin. xxx
Hey Hun! Sorry I've not mailed back yet-my laptop bat us gone and I can't find the charger anywhere!!! I think it's great that you're sister us keeping u on track- my sister is apparently doing really well and keeping healthy in London, this has inspired me to get healthy! I also went Xmas shopping today! We really are twins! I had a great time though because I love the buzz of Xmas shoppers! Hope I'll be able to mail you soon! Good luck at your appointments tomorrow! Xx
ReplyDeleteI can so relate to the fear of relaxation! When I'm in school it's a lot worse for me...like I can't just rest if I think there are things to be done. Of course ed always thinks there is SOMETHING to be done...his logic is pretty ridiculous. I still struggle with it too, so sadly I don't know the cure : /.
ReplyDeleteFor me weekends are hard too. I think I am anxious being around certain family members who are home these days and that's why it's harder for me. As I kid I can even remember being anxious Friday night as the weekend was beginning. I also hate to be still because for some reason I don't like to let my mind wander and "think" about things...keeping myself occupied constantly always prevents me from thinking about stressors in my life. I don't know if any of this is helpful...I hope it is! I relate to hwo you're feeling love. Stay strong and just push through it...you can do this!!
xxx
Sarah
P.S.In my comments you've mentioned that you struggle with keeping your walks down. All I'm allowed to do is walk for now and I have the SAAAME problem. I love walking because it's so relaxing...but toom much is harmful. Please e-mail if you ever want to talk about something like that, it sounds like we're in the same place walking too much! ((hugs!!))
I too struggle with how to relax - i always feel like i HAVE to be doing something or else im just lazy !!!!! But i am trying to listen to my body more and rest when it needs it - we all deserve a little R+R!!!!
ReplyDeleteYah for festive times - i love the holidays!!!!! Good luck with you appointments today!!!!!! xoxo aimee
I have really gotten better at relaxing but you know what really stresses me out? the fact that after I relax my stomach is usally worse. seriosuly what is up with that? I thought relaxing is suppose to help with that. but I feel all blaoted then! SOrry to tell you this but I guess you are one of the only people who know how crap it feels ;)
ReplyDeleteyay for candy! that is the best about christmas I guess!
I always had a hard time about weekend too but I like planning things like meeting my cousins or so to keep me occupied! maybe that can help you too.
Would you mind emailing me your facebook name so I can add you? Hope you don't mind
xx
gahhh that friends clip is the BEST. in the world, the bloopers of it are even funnier :P xoxox
ReplyDeleteHello again!
ReplyDeleteSorry, I always forget that blogger must not display e-mail addresses from wordpress users! Mine is Saruuuhhh@msn.com : ).