wasted time... or time well spent?

hello there peoples, 

its friday afternoon and i deliberatly waited to blog cos i was on abit of a downer yest after my dietician appt.... im not sure exactly which of the mix of feelings i had was the cause of my feeling blue, but im pretty sure disappointment came in somewhere :-(

Its not like a wanted a whole song and dance about my weight, or even a revelation as to how i can miraculously get better by taking a magic pill.... but some kind of recognition for what is going on would have been nice. i think i was expecting some sort of support, or guidance or whatever... which was obviously misguided. (at least from the NHS anyway!) 

As it happens, i was actually pretty excited for the appt, im glad ive finally got the recovery ball rolling and so i was eager to see what she would recommend for me. However, when i got there i already felt abit out of place. its such a bleak hospital.... and the outpatient bit is full of weird looking people and oldies. i mean it seriously looked like some kindof creepy dark comedy programme like the league of gentlemen or something! anyway. i met this woman and she was very sweet.... in a young, first job kindof way. i dont know, i just felt that she was a little too "fresh out the box", reading her little booklet about weight gain, and asking me what i usually ate for breakfast etc.... it was clear that she didnt really have the expertise or knowledge about ED's and the leaflet was more geared for elderly people who couldnt eat solid foods.... 

here's a few of my fave exerts:

"Sharp tasting foods are refreshing. Try lemon squash, boiled sweets, acid drops...."  

(all VERY typical old agey foods, who eats boiled sweets these days?!?!)

"Cold foods are often more appetising than hot foods as they do not have such a strong smell..." 

Again, what?!?!?! surely the smell of cooking food shud WET your appetite? 

but this surely is the winner.....

"A glass of sherry or brandy before a meal can help stimulate your appetite..."

And helloooooo old age! seriously, if i took the advice on this booklet, id be shuffling around in slippers wearing a bedjacket and talking to myself. no THANKYOU!!!! 

still, it provided me with a few minutes entertainment :-p

Anyway, she did say SOME useful things, like talking about the pressure to eat certain things and how i felt. also she's going to get my doc to prescribe me fortisip drinks so that shud help upp my cals. But then again, she also said i only needed 1700 cals a day, which i thought sounded abit low for weight gain... espesh since i told her about my malabsorption problems with my digestion/blood. So im going to go back to my doctor on monday and ask for more advice. I mean surely 1700 is not enough calories to gain?! im also going to ask for weekly weigh-ins with a nurse to make sure i get the motivation i need to do this properly and also a counsellor. cos i think i need to address certain issues i have regarding fear foods before i can progress with my eating.....

so mostly positive. even tho i felt down about it yest, ive had time to think about stuff now and i think im doing the right thing going back to my doctor. i want to do this properly, not by being given excuses to get out of recovering fully. 

phew!

So, its been an interesting journey so far... i wonder whats next!?

luckily today has been nice and chilled, which i SO needed. I didnt have anything planned so i took my poochy for a walk in the park and she was happy cos i remembered to take her ball (simple pleasures eh!) and that made me happy (does that make me even simpler?!?!)

i like that it is the small things that we might take for granted in our busy day to day lives that can provide us with such happiness. A warm sunny day, a smile from a stranger, or even just a glimpse of a brighter future, its these things that make us realise how much life is worth and how good it can be, if you relax and let it!

i took this pic on the way home.... it kind of sums up my mood! :-)