did i jinx that or what?!

well im very sorry peeps. i think i scared the sunshine away....!!!

its raining here :-( 

Anyway, the past couple of days have been pretty busy, which is good cos its getting me out of that lazy slump that holidays always give u, where the days just pass by in a blur of sitting about, internetting and generally not doing a whole lot! 

back to work tomo!!!!

Can i just say, i had the most amazing time at the gig on friday night :-) I was abit nervous about it as im not exactly the most sociable person at the mo. but it was fiiiine! i neednt have worried. phew....

So i met up with the ex in the park next to the venue, where we sat and chatted and generally caught up on the past couple of months of not seeing each other in the sunshine, ahhhh. Then into the gig, and it was already packed! We had to Q at the bar for ages and we missed the opening act (oh well) but before we knew it, the band came on! Wooooo for reef! (cue-lots of shouting from me!!!)

They were awesome. FACT. i love that every song they played was a classic, i knew all the words and could relate it back to the period of my life when i was so happy and carefree.... 

Ahh, it just made me feel GOOD. Plus it was nice to be part of a crowd, everyone jumping and swaying in time with the music and generally having a damn good time :-) ive been feeling o isolated lately and disconnected from my body, that being a part of something bigger, where everyone is there for the same thing, made me feel alot more comfortable with myself.... i let go and had a dance and it felt right.

has anyone else felt that 'out of body' disconnected type feeling, where its like your body is a seperate entity to your mind??

I know its related to my ED, cos its like my mind and body dont work together anymore. its very annoying cos it makes me feel abit lonely and sad cos i used to love my body, what it could do for me and how it was the physical manifestation of me. Now i dont feel like i belong in this body, its not mine y'know? or at least, its not what it should be... what it was...

I think the sooner i can get back to my healthy weight the better it will be, i dont like the fact that my head controls everything, my body doesnt have a chance. Hopefully these thoughts wont be so loud in my ear when i can finally get my head sorted and get my weight up....

I hear people say that once your food intake goes up your brain starts to function more clearly, i really hope this is true, cos recently ive been feeling like im not in control, like my resolve is slipping and i hate that :-( i really need to be strong right now.

Anyway, here are some pics from the gig.... 

hands in the air, say YEAAAH...

The annoyances of modern technology... dude, i cant seeeee! 

i apologise for the hairy border on this one :-p

Gary stringer - i want your babies...

Whats that?! you want my babies too?!?

Ahh, If only!!!

I think it's safe to safe, my crush has been re-awoken in a BIG way!!! :-)

xxx