home sweet bed

Well - im home at last!

Im knackered after what was an absolutely AMAZEBALLS trip to brighton. Oh yes, the weather shone especially sunny for us and we had a fantastic few days away. I always knew it was gonna be good... but it was really GOOD!!!

After a chilled girly night in on tuesday, we set off bright and early in the car and headed brighton bound... It was much quicker than we thought and we arrived there in enough time to find a ridiculously overpriced carpark in the centre of town (im talking £20 for three and a half hours?! daylight robbery people!!!) After leaving the car, we then headed STRAIGHT to the beach to eat our lunch and lay on our towels, soaking up the sun :p

After a lazy afternoon paddling our feet (note to self - it may be sunny but the sea in england is always freezing cold) And throwing pebbles at pesky seagulls, one of which actually shat on my friends towel - cheeky bastard!! We then moseyed back through the lanes, looking at bits and bobs in the quirky shops and then getting the car to drive just down the road to our hostel, which was on the seafront, between brighton town centre and hove.

shopping along the lanes...

making friends with the local sea-life :p

It was a really cute little hostel, not too busy since it was midweek and very friendly staff. We had naughtily smuggled in a load of pre-drink drinks to have in our room as we got ready, so we got crackalacking on the hair and makeup sesh pretty soon after we got the keys to our four bed bunkbed dorm.... bring it on!!! (it certainly gave me a taste of the travelling life than looms ahead of me!) 

happy to be home with my own HAPPY toilet!

So after glamming up, we got a taxi into town cos two of my friends are shorter than me and the other friend, so they favour the TRES high high-heels... im glad im 5'7 cos my god, theres no way in hell id be able to walk in those badboys! When we got to town, we decided to opt for ASK restaurant, cos they had a discount offer code and also there was stuff i could eat (dramaaaa!) It was ok, nothing special - but the night was still young!

We headed to the area with all the pubs and bars and had a few drinks... all good, but it wasnt very busy and we were sort of getting bummed out by 10pm, so we asked this friendly barman where was good to go and he said head to the seafront to the clubs down there... so we did! and despite originally aiming for one club called coalition, we detoured after being offered half price entry to this club called digital... plus the lure of £1 drinks till midnight was enough to sway our already tipsy minds :p

cocktail LURRRVE

well what can i say.... OHEMGEEEEEEE this club was so much fun! Maybe its just cos its been ages since i last got my dance on in a club, maybe cos i was drinking again after my long absence from the stuff... but we had an absolute ball! Every song was a CHOOOOON and even tho we may have been the oldest there (it did feel like an 18-20 clubnight!) we were slamming it on the dancefloor like we owned the place - hells yeah!!! Ive gotta admit, drinking multicoloured wkd's, dancing about like a hot mess and making eyes at cute guys - it DEFINITELY took me back to my 18 year old self.... and i loved that! getting a taste of the me before all this... before the M.E, before anorexia - the OLD me. She was back and she was having a blast :)

we like to party hearty!

The only thing that dragged my mood down abit was the reminder that altho i may have been having fun - i was still tired, i still worried about what i looked like, how skinny i was, how i got lightheaded on the alcohol and not just cos im a lightweight, but because im too LIGHT in WEIGHT :(

But it gave me something to think about, another of those happy "i need to do this" kick-up-the-ass moments that i seem to be getting alot (and acting on!) these days. It makes it easier when im faced with an anoreix-fuelled choice. I just do the opposite and move on....

I was proud of myself for that - i ate out. i ate snacks when i was hungry. i didnt over exercise. i danced like a loon and drunk alcohol (liquid caloriiiiiiies!) and i was ok. 

in fact i was better than ok

i was golden :)

So recovery may still be scary... but now, when anorexia gives me shit, i can remember all these fun things and how they are all waiting for me to enjoy properly when i am healthy.... and i can turn around and say "EFF YOU ANOREXIA" you dont own me anymore!

And that, my friends... is a damn good feeling

xx