Aaaand im back!
Haha... hope you didnt miss me in the whole DAY i was busy! Its a rare occurance, but yes - i actually had a very busy sociable day yesterday - Shocker! As planned, i nipped into town to hand in my application form to Costa... i am SOOO praying i get this job! i was super enthusiastic (in the minute it took me to hand it in) said that i was happy to work whenever and i could be flexible etc... so hopefully that shud work in my favour. Im glad they didnt ask if i liked coffee tho - cos THAT could be awkward!haha.
Then i went into the health food shop to get some of my dairy-free flapjacks and found that TWO were out of date, so i snapped them up for half price. BooYah!!! Sadly on the downside, i wore my new boots into town to "wear them in" (cos i knew it would keep me from walking too much, which is good) but just before the mothership left she said "you'll regret wearing those..."
And BOY was she right!!
yup...
After walking about 5 paces, i realised the error of my ways, but it was too late! i couldnt turn back now i was in a rush... so i hobbled through town and when i got home and looked at my poor ouchy feet, i was greeted with a collection of GINORMOUS blisters on both heels :( it was ridonkulously painful and i knew that shoes would be a thing of the past - at least for the next few days!!!
Still, there was no time to waste! So after popping on my trusty flipflops - i heard a knock on my door and my lift Sam was here to pick me up... My friend Wendy invited us both round, cos we were gonna do something girly, but then she remembered that she'd said Sam could go round to hers for dinner... So she just said, why didnt we both go. Since i had nothing better to do and im really trying to be more spontaneous around food and stuff. i agreed!
W and S are both teachers at my (now old- eek! school) W and me get on really well, despite her being older... she is hella funny and a fiesty chick! which means that she often gets on the wrong side of people, who dont like her what-you-see-is-what-you-get attitude... but i really like her. Shes had her fair share of shit and we have a similarly dark sense of humour! S is another teacher, but bless him - he's a young'un and soooo naive. I dont think he's ever really had a girlfriend, probs cos he's a bit of a nerd. Ok he's a FULL on music nerd!! But his heart is in the right place and as long as you dont mind him waffling on about cars or musical equipment and yada yada yada... he's a sweet boy! I do feel sory for him sometimes tho... cos he really does make you cringe sometimes!!! im talking full on geeksville (and not the cute and quirky kind!) Him and W are tight, cos he helps in her ICT department (despite being a music teacher... i know right?! our school is mad) So he often spends time at hers with her and her hubby... i think he's quite lonely, so shes taken him under her wing...
And she kinda does the same for me. Cos she knows how hard i find relaxing - she is the same. And she genuinely cares about people and wants to help. So i really appreciate her support. She's a blast and we had a really fun night - just hanging out, drinking, eating her ABSOLUTELY AMAZEBALLS roast chicken and salad dinner and then talking till gone midnight - when the yawning got the better of us and we headed home :)
What WAS fab tho - was that W was totally cool and caring about my foody stuff. She said i could have as much or as little as i wanted, but i was like - no i need to eat!!! She doesnt make it a big deal tho, its all very cool and chilled. I love that... And i was proud that i managed to eat what they were having, and plenty of it! i love chicken and salad - so no stress there (altho i did panic abit when i saw how much oil she cooked it in... it was SWIMMING!!!) but i didnt let it get the better of me. and instead of filling up on fruit afters, i had a peach and then my bounce protein ball snack, which id brought from home :)
these were actually pretty good!!
Im lucky too, cos W is a very self-care orietated person - she looks after herself... (she suffers from OCD so her house, her wardrobe her appearance are literally faultless. So she gets that its important to treat yourslef with care and not punish yourself like i do... When i told her about my blister sitch, she was like "oooh, let me get my foot stuff out and we'll sort you out!"...
Normally people dont like fussing with feet, but oh nooo. W got out the foot spa, soaked my feet and those nasty sore blisters, before she strerilised a needle and burst those muthafuckaaaaahs!!! YEEEAH! it wasnt painful at all and she bandaged it all up afterwards - it was proper proffesh! This morning, the side that we burst is almost totally healed, its just the other side (which had already burst while wearing the damn boots) which was sore. She told me i HAD to wear flipflops today to let is rest and ive been a good girl and done it :) Ive learned my lesson the hard way!!! She did also say that if im going to get better and clear up some of the struggles in my head - i need to learn care of myself, i have to stop this self-punishment and believe that i AM worth something. I dont have to EARN the right to be happy - i can just go do things that make me happy... there is no tax to pay on that!
we all have our issues
its how we work through them that counts
So yeah, that was yesterday! Understandably, after those busy shenanigans - i was pooped this morning. I felt abit sick too, so i lay in... finally getting abit easier to resist the lure of stretching and walking. Its hard - i still feel bad. like im doing wrong... but i see that the more i stick at it - the easier it will be. Im definitly more aware of my situation now. Ive been so blinded for so long, that i just didnt face up to the cold hard truth. I chose to hide behind my work and being busy... excuses basically. But now - when im tired (which ohmygod i have been SO tired lately) i let myself rest. i dont NEED to be active... and altho its still hard to come to terms with that. i know i have to use my stubborn nature for recovery not for self-destruct.
So today i have lazed in the sun most of the morning - in fact, i finished my first library book! yessss :) Then i walked up the road to see if there was anything good at the friday market, but there wasnt much of interest and i dont need anything, so i went home! Then this afternoon i went to the doctors to get my next set of bloodwork papers filled out. I will have to go and get that sorted next week, cos the blood clinic is closed on weekends... but i DID get to see my fave hunky young doctor! Hubba Hubba!!! He's so pretty... but sadly, it can never be! I still totes think there is a connection there - delusional or not! he got all flustered at the end as i said goodbye and said "thankyou, nice to meet you" i was like - DUDE, we've met like 5 times already and you greeted me by name! hahahahaha. so funny :p
Right, this post has been pretty epic already - so ill call time folks! i need to figure out what to have for dinner... which is hard cos its SO freaking HOT here!!! i made myself a killer frozen smoothie earlier... oh man it was soo refreshing! im gonna be making a fair few of those badboys now ive figured out how to work the blender :p
Mmmm - so tasty :)
Hope youre all doing good out there!
speak soooooon
x
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