So I'll sit here waiting
While the worlds will pass me
You can't have me
Walk by me
I can't say a word
I'm helpless
Can't help me
You can't stop me now
Some lyrics from a great band called 'the like'. It kindof sums up how i feel at the mo!
So, therapy anyone?!
Yes please. (but y'know... whenever your ready)
Well, i hate to be impatient, but COME ON!!! i feel like ive been waiting forever for this damn therapy appt. As it happens it is not actually with my therapist! oh no... this was just my "assessment" where two random people ask me alot of questions and scribble down notes before telling me that they then refer me to my new therapist/dietician.
noooo, this means MORE WAITING!!!!
Not that there's anything i can do about it. I just told them that i really felt like i needed to get going with this, before i slip back into old habits (i lost about a lb since i last got weighed.... not good)
i mentioned about feeling like im in a limbo land at the mo, and i really am. its like im stuck in mud... i cant move forward but i desperately dont want to fall back. im just praying that this mud isnt hiding some quicksand, cos i dont wanna sink!!! :-p
(sorry for all the metaphors guys, im in one of those wordy/visual moods where i need to back everything up with a mental picture! haha, hope you're getting that mental piccy im vibeing over to you....
ZMMZMZMZMMMMZM.
did you get it?!?!?!
now picture me with a metal kitchen colander on my head trying to zap over telepathic picture vibes like a geeky spaceman.
Anyways, its been a long day. I feel abit drained but i keep telling myself at least im making an effort... its just annoying cos it feels abit one-sided, like im the one doing all the running. But i dont mind being the hassler if it means something gets done! (Spoke to my doc and arranged fortnightly weigh-ins with the nurse, so at least SOMEONE will be keeping tabs on me :-p)
On that note, im off to keep tabs on my little bundle of naughtiness (aka puppylove) i came home earlier to find she'd been thru my bedroom bin and had some fun ripping up bits of tissue... mess everywhere!
Sure she's a cutie...
but dont let that butter-wouldnt-melt face fool you, she's a cheeky lil devil :-p
Hope all you lovelies have had a humdinger of a good day and thankyou for all your good luck messages, they made me feel alot better about walking in there and laying my life down in front of complete strangers :-)
xxx
Thats too bad hun, therapists and the mental healthy system in general can be awafully slow!.Until u can meet a new t, obviously the blogosphere can help! but what i found helps me in my times of limbo is simply accepting that right in this moment, im on a plateau and taking a break. Its like, my head wants to keep moving forward, learning, growing, recovering, but I just cant at that moment, so I acccept that I need a break(not a break to slip back!) just a time to stop, relax and reflect.Its not a bad thing and its part of recovery sometimes. Maybe u cud try that?
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xxxx
Aw that's rubbish! NHS is ALWAYS very slow though! I hope you weren't too disappointed cos you are still one step closer than you were before!
ReplyDeleteWell done for being proactive with the weigh-ins cos you deffo don't wanna start slipping further back whilst your waiting!!
And OMG butter would never ever melt in his mouth! i am coming round to dognap him, so don't be alarmed if you see someone in a balaclava and stripey robber top :P
Chin up missy, things will get sorted eventually, it's just an excrutiatingly slow process!
xxx
Hi there - just found your blog and just wanted to say hi and im looking forward to future posts !!!!!! xoxo aimee
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