whats that you say?!

i saaaaaid: it's Friiiiidaaaaay!!!

man i love that friday feeling. when you KNOW you dont have to work the next day.... its lush.

But what makes it even MORE lush? Well, hows about when you know that you should be working the next day, cos theres a school open day and therefore most staff should be there, but YOU dont have to cos your LOVELY head of dept said he'd cover for you as there was no need for the both of us to be in....

Umm, HELLS yeah!!!

Ill take that with a side of WOOPWOOP

Seriously tho, that guy is getting serious brownie points from me at the mo. Since he said i dont owe the school anything and i should take it easy and focus on ME till i leave at the end of the year - he's been helping me out all over the place! Soo nice of him, since i know he wants to leave too but cant until he retires in a few years... Hmm, i like this easier schedule - maybe i should stay?! hahaha. 

NOT LIKELY!!!

:p

Anyways, so today was a nice chilled day. Fridays are always my lighter days, which is a nice ease into the weekend :) I have quite a bit planned this weekend, so im gonna still try and bosh an early night tonight, after my day off on weds i started to really notice just how tired i am... its only when you allow yourself to stop for a minute that you actually FEEL the exhaustion. and im feeling it... 

Weds was right back into the thick of it, so when i got a call from the nice lady at my doctors surgery saying that she had to cancel our first yoga sesh and it would start properly next week - i wasnt too disappointed! I did feel abit of initial fear, in the form of my ugly ED saying "Gaaah, that disrupts the original plan... you shud be doing YOGA exercise that night - and you havent done my stretches in ages....lazy, bad, useless, spoils everything...." 

Well frankly, i told that mo-fo to SHUT IT and had me a nice chilled out evening in front of the tv instead.... Ahhh BLISS :) Cos the whole point me and the roomie are starting this yoga thing, is to try and relax more, not stress more! Its to help me try to switch off from the negative me and accept myself for who i am. Find some inner peace and all that jazz! Plus it will be very good to get me to do some relaxing breathing exercise movements and NOT be moving about doing "must walk, must move" exercise, for a change! So to start freaking out about not doing it before i even started was just plain SILLY!

So, i focused my brain back to non-obsessive Ed thoughts... it was cancelled - end of! i had to deal with that and not compensate with other exercise. which i did... BOSH. point to me :)

So here we are back at today. And again - i had the chance to do more walking than i should today, cos having free time means that i can fill it with as much walking as i please... but i held myself back. Im still doing more than i know i should - but its not crazy out of control as much. AND i can stop when it starts to feel obsessive, when i get too fast or im trying to "feel" it. as soon as i start to feel tired and bad in myself - i know i have to stop.

Not that thats easy mind. often the compulsion to finish what i started is too strong. So i have to be careful... walking IS beneficial, my doctors advised it to help my circulation which can affect my blood condition and also to help my digestive issues. But they advise it in a slow and restful state and i KNOW i abuse that. Alot of doctors recommend gentle walking, even in anorexia recovery! But the hard part is keeping an awareness of how much is enough. Often when i get started, i find it hard to stop... always wanting more, to go further, to go faster, harder, punishing myself to feel better. Well thats not in any recommendation that i know!!

This weekend is going to be fun tho. Im going upto london tomo to meet up with a friend, we're gonna go see an exhibition i think and then im meeting up with roomie and we're gonna go take the mothership out for a pre-mothers day meal :) On sunday, planning a lazy morning with papers and then walk along the flower market and brick lane, look at some bits and bobs before driving home on sunday eve.

Sounds good, no?!

Then its only TWO weeks left at work till the Easter holidays... when hopefully lots of fun things will happen. My Bday, for one... a trip to the Harry Potter Studios (ive been wanting to go since forever!) and also a possible trip to France to see our lovely preggo friend who should have HAD her baby by then!!! ARHHH!! she is due this tues, so fingers and toes crossed it all goes smoothly! 

But im jumping ahead again :p RIGHT. back to friday night... and im off to get into my tracky bums and slob out for a lovely night of me-time. Bring it on!!! xxx