can i put on my santa hat now please?!

Wooooooo a midweek post!!!!

Whats this, you say?! free-time in the middle of the working week? thats not like ME!!!! and you'd be right, cos i have a shedload of marking to do AND reports to write so i really shouldnt be taking time out to let my brain doodle all over the page, but i am compelled... WILLED if you like, to post a little ho ho ho its december and therefore i am officially getting my festive on and guess what.... YOU CANT STOP ME!!!!! hahahahaha (insert mad santa chuckle)

Awww, you guyssss. i love me some christmas time :-) its mad to think that this time last year we'd already had a major snowstorm in the UK and id had a couple of (damn fine thankyou very much) snowdays where it was so bad we had to close the school! ahh memories.......

Nooo, Im not complaining with this mild weather tho! Cos as much as its nice to have a day off work for snow... its hardly a regular occurrence and id much rather have a month of not freezing my ASS off, as opposed to one day of "yes its white enough to warrant sledding, lets close the schools" :-p

Im feeling alot more positive this week, can you tell?! well this half of the week anyways... cos i had been putting myself in a holy awkward and frankly pretty DAMN stupid position up till monday. restriction in order to prove a point?? not so much fun.

Well you'll be pleased to know that its stopped.

I went to my therapy appt on monday and yes, i had lost weight... but thats not a massive surprise given my mental state last week. But the main point IS.... that i told my therapist what for! i gave it to him "teacher-style" (as in, no gold stars and a right royal ticking off.....) yup, they dont call me MISS for nothing! of course he came back with some blah excuses like "he didnt think i was in the right place for cognitive therapy".... and "its not up to them to provide me with the answers".... yada yada YAH. i was kindof expecting it anyways. but i said since they were not offering me the support i needed and they would not be able help me on a more intensive programme until their daycare facility was open in feb, i decided to do things my way!

I am still going to check back with them maybe once a month or when i NEED to, but im fed up with the ongoing crisis of trying to gain on my terms while still feeling like i want them to do it for me. its too confusing! i think it needs to be ME or THEM... and right now, clearly they cant uphold their end of the dealio. So its up to yours truly to start pulling out the big guns on old ED-face.

who the bejesus are these crazy cats?!?!

a film about baseball apparently... lovefilm here i come :-)

GAAAH!!!! its scary, but i feel better about it this way. I found that altho i was making some progress, I was using the appt's as a way to moniter my control and whether i had gained or lost weight... it was all a big game (and ED wasnt really playing fair) so from now on, no weighing, no pressure on myself to "do this" or "do that".... Just concentrating on getting my calories up again and feeling more comfortable eating. Cos i have been bad, ill be the first to admit... snacks have gone awol and meals have been safe-ified (is that a word?!?! it is now) So here's to a new month and a new fresh kick up the ass... as if its not sore enough from all the other kicks ive tried to give it before!!! PLEEEEEEASE let this one leave a permanant converse mark so i can actually get my gain on! :-p

So my lovely winter warblers, LETS GET ON IT! christmas time is a time for indulgence and joy. lets embrace that extra mince pie (hate em, but you get the meaning) and not beat ourselves up for having a treat. we deserve it after all, we've been good this year. NO COAL IN MY STOCKING SANTA!!!!!

this reminds me of the christmas LOG from my previous post...

i will actually FULL ON cry if that rocks up in my stocking.

oh god, i think ive tipped back into crazytown now. im so peppy i shud be a cheerleader! except with brown hair, skinny arms and a sarcasm problem :-)

Did i mention i love christmas?!?!?! good.

This weekend im gonna try and drag the boy festive shopping again, cos i havent made it into town ONCE this week! usually i power walk around town on my lunch/break everyday, but cover has been ridonk at work so ive had no free-time (which meant no extra walking... which is GOOD! i have allowed myself to adjust to the lesser time and its been ok! hooray!!!)

So i still have a lot of giftage to get. Including the boys (i use our festive shop-time as an excuse to pick up subtle hints... so far he's expressed interest about a toy samurai umbrella... ahem! and some new converse. Riiiiight!)

But this week i also want to get a cut-price advert calender (non-choc for the non-dairy) cos i may love xmas but im also on a budget!!!! Nah, i wouldve bought one earlier, but i havent had the time. OH and can i also bring up the Qn of "why the heck they dont do non-chocolate advent calenders?!?!" id totally rock a "dried fruit" advent calender... or a jelly baby one even. the possibilities are ENDLESS!!! seriously, this needs to happen. im writing in to mr haribo as we speak......

is this actually mister haribo?!?! he's aged so well....!

(spot of botox for the gentleman, mr H?!)

ok im not YET, obvs cos im typing this, but the ideas are formulating in my brain.... ooh look at the swirly patterns, so pretty, so....

RIGHT YES. ok. im going now!!! (dont you just love these crazy rambled posts i do when im tired and overworked...?! just imagine what my pupils feel like every freaking day!!!)

Anyway, heres a QN for ya!

What would you have in your advent calender if you could have anything??

would you stick to the usual choc? or would you go all out?!

oooh, im thinking DIAMONDS!!!!

cos this is totes the look i sport on my days-off. FABOOSH!!!