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Hey Apple Pies,

Im enjoying some serious american sunshine today! Its sooooo hot outside... I know im usually complaining of the cold, but not here! im actually sitting inside at the mo cos its sweltering by the pool. Air-con is like heaven on humid earth right now :-p

So, recap: I am currently staying with some family friends just outside of Boston... it is really nice and chilled here, very quiet and peaceful... proper suburbs. There isnt a whole lot for me to do tho, as they are both working all day, but they have been super considerate in trying to make sure i dont get too bored. Yesterday i got picked up after taking the T (like the tube) from boston out to the 'burbs, where i got picked up by the lovely lady, E. we drove around abit cos she had clients to see and i was happy to tag along. We stopped at whole foods on our travels for some lunch and ohmygod, the one in london is good, but these are even BETTER!!! sadly i didnt get time to stock up on goodies, but hopefully i will before i head home. SO much tasty stuff there :-) Tomo they are taking the afternoon off so we can go on an adventure and then we have all of saturday too, before i leave on the night-flight home.

ohmygodiseriouslydontwanttogohomeiloveitherepleasecanistay?!

So yesterday evening we chilled at the house, their son is about and altho he's abit younger than me, its nice to have some other young company around. He's working today aswell tho, so ive kindof been lazing about by the pool, reading my book (50shades of grey babaaaaay. hahaha. SO good) and surfing t'internet. Its a bit of a change to be left to my own devices, considering ive been pretty much with my friends 24/7 for the week and a half since i got here (altho having my own bed last night was sooooo good. i slept like a baby!) But yeah, its still hard to shift that old feeling of "you should be doing something lazybones"... but im staying strong and sitting on it, cos i could go for a walk, but why should i? i dont think it would be for pleasure right now, cos im still very much in the ED head with the non-activity... im doing a hell of alot better and i STILL havent succumbed to the urges to walk/stretch! But i know if i DID go out alone, itd be cos i felt guilty for doing nothing. so im not gonna. Maybe if its cooler later i might ask if anyone else wants to go on a stroll with me, but not now. not on my own. and certainly not with the ED egging me on. No thanks!

Soooo, being so used to filling my empty time with exercise, im kindof at a loss as to what to do! Any ideas?! The guy - M, is working from home, so we just went out to Panera for some lunchums which was nice... I had the famous (well, my friends have told me about it!!!) strawberry, poppyseed and chicken salad... and yes, they were right... it was good. I had panera before, but i just chose a regular turkey sandwich and wasnt all that impressed. well clearly i ordered wrong! This was the shizz and i was muchos happy :-)

Now to get my brain abit more focused... im gonna do some research on nanny agencies over here. Cos after this trip Im even more determined than ever that the US is where i want to be. So i need to get my search on for potential nanny jobs that i could do while i get myself on my feet out here. I know id enjoy and be good at nannying, especially with my teaching backround... and it would give me the opportunity to get to know the american lifestyle and my surroundings, while (hopefully) living in with a family as their nanny. But, although it all sounds do-able, its still a very scary step for me to make... Im not the "fly by the seat of my pants" spontaneous type! So to make this massive leap into the unknown is a big deal for me. I like things planned and prepared and I cant really do that... Id have to quit my job (eek!!) and up sticks to another country, waaaay away from home! I know i can do it and i KNOW it'd be so good for me, but its scary nonethless! But i mean already being over here i feel so much calmer and happier, away from all my negative routines and bad memories at home.... I just need a fresh start, I see that now. A chance to find my own path instead of trying to fix all the broken bridges at home. Im not happy there, im constantly surrounded by all this bad feeling and negativity, its not helping me. I need to find my own way... to forge a future for ME. and america is where my heart lies people, as cheesy as that sounds! its always been a lifelong dream of mine, so i figure its time to grab life by the balls and GO FOR IT!!!

SO, first step... registering with a nannying agency. My family friends have said i can use their address to register and then start to make contact from there. I can suss out what kindof jobs would be available and then figure out my next move. I have told myself that this is the year i do it. theres no point hiding in the shadows any longer, i want change and i want it bad!!! So even if i havent secured something before i quit my job, i will hand in my notice by the end of the school year regardless. That way i have a target... i will have to sort something out, even if its just coming over here and waitressing for abit until i find something. Life should be an adventure, not a bore. If it all goes wrong, i can pack up and go home... whats the worst that could happen?!?!

Anyways, tonight we have some friends coming over for dinner, so its a chance for me to pick their brains about work and employment etc... it's "grown up sensible clem" time. Less of the dancing about being silly with my friends, and more of the business time :p

Oh and we're having lobster.... 

DAMN i love america 

:-)