say what now?!

Its been a WEEK?!?! where has the time gone?!

It feels like the first week that i was here went soooo sloooowly. but now im like whooooa there. Busy bee = me! (but shh, i like it like this :p)

So i have been working alot, i did my induction type night on the thursday of last week and then i basically just went in every day since then! The guy who owns it is pretty relaxed about my hours, cos they do HAVE other hostesses, but when they get busy they sometimes need more people on the floor, but generally im super grateful cos they dont really need me there... i mean i am working and everything, and im not one to sit about doing nothing so im trying to help out all i can, but yeah... its more of a goodwill job, like helping me out. which i really appreciate!!! Sooo, i went in on friday evening and then took saturday off to go shoppppping (and sort out some doctory stuff, my GOD american healthcare is a farce... i had to pay for the pill! even tho we get it for free in the uk!!! plus i had to pay for a consultation JUST to get a prescription to get the pill.... can i get a "say WHAAAA?!?!" i mean that is serious blasphemy on the money front. grrrr) Anyways, back on track... i went in on for the lunch shift on sunday and realised that actually lunches are pretty fun! its quiet (which is why they dont normally have a hostess greeting people, the waitresses kind of do it adhoc) but im helping out being there i think, it means they can focus on their customers and i can do the basic stuff... then it gets dead after lunch (so we just hang out being silly) and then i stay for the first part of the evening shift, crossing over with the evening hostess. which is when it gets busier....

basically

we have a blast...

Aaaaand, I get to eat their food for my lunch if i saty for the evening too, which is GOOOOOOD!!! for reals, this place does wicked good food. its a family run italian and my gaaaahd do they cook some tasty nosh :) Which obviously im building up to sampling more of!!! (damn that pesky ED) Im not used to having big lunches, so i dont really get hungry for them... but i am trying to force myself to have stuff, its so nice i know i shudnt waste this chance! Plus all the other girls eat loads and i want to fit in (already had a few of the old "youre soooo thin" comments. BLEH!) But yeah, being around them keeps me in check, it reminds me that i AM too thin and i want to be normal... sitting around on my own doesnt do me any goody cos i dont realise that not eating lunch ISNT normal. So yeah, goods for the mind. So far, ive tried the house salad with shrimp (yummmmmm, they do proper BIG juicy shrimp, none of those piddly little watery prawns we get in the uk!) this was a safey for me. but im working on it, eating lunch at all is a biggie, especially restaurant food cooked in hella loads of oil and dressing etc... then today i branched out and had the homemade veggie burger with a side salad. it was good. oh yes it WAS!!!! i even had some of the girls' fries when they had their lnch (waitresses get to eat first, when there is a quiet period) but we all sat together and munched... but i just feel like such an EEJIT sometimes, cos there they are, perfectly healthy and happy girls... NOT fat. and they have a chicken and bacon sandwich with chips and then one girl had a glass of milk (awwww) and a slie of choc cake. TOTES normal for them.... i hate that my head makes everything so difficult for me. when will i be okay with doing that too? urhhh, recovery is EXHAUSTING!

so anyways, one of the girls livs really near me so were gonna try and do something at some point... and i might be meeting up with one of the barmaids tomo afternoon cos its her day off. but i think she has stuff to do in the morning, so ill probs go into work and do the lunch shift and then just leave after that (the boss guy told me he doesnt really need me to stay in that lull period, but i can hang out there if i want. basically, he cant pay me... and totally understandable. im happy he's paying me at all!!!) 

Soooo thats pretty much life for me at the mo! im feeling very happy with how things are going. im lessa nxious about being active... i go for a walk sometimes when its a nice morning i put my ipod in and go for a stroll... but its never more than half an hour and its not speedwalking. then i do a few stretches some mornings. but not what i was like before... and you know what. i feel like i can actually FEEL it more. like before i did them every morning without fail and i just felt tired but now i feel like when i DO do something, it feels better... i get that kindof "yeah i moved my body" feeling. i dunno. it feels good. i do need to be careful that i dont overdo it, cos i know im on my feet at the restaurant. but its really just alot of standing about! but i dont want to feel obligted to do more than i feel like, cos thats where my anorexia head jumps back into control and i start doing too much.... DEF need to be on that before school starts up in sept, cos thats always when i start pushing myself too hard again. 

Ooh this has been a long old ramble-fest! ill stop now for fear of boring you guys to tears... i dont even have any nice new pics to share with you. hmmm, maybe i can find something...

Ahh, there you go. DUNKIN DONUTS!!!!

thats american :p

Later folks

xx