film-time

So peoples, yesterday was the last day of term. which means...

SCHOOLS OUT FOR SUMMMMMMMAAAAH!!!!

oh yeah, bring on the holidays :-)

In order to celebrate my new freedom, when the gates opened at 2pm and we flooded out what did i do?! I headed to the cinema and met my fwends...! cos like i was really gonna stay and have "staff drinks" with the faculty. No ta, ill save that for when im middle aged! heheh. noooo i kid, im lucky that all the other teachers are actually very nice, but i see them EVERY day at work... so free-time = friend-time in my books!)

A swift changeroo from work clothes into some "cajuaals" (read: mini skirt/check shirt... my go-to when im in a rush) And off i trot to meet my boys in the pub for a sneaky drink before hitting up the cinema for some BRIDESMAIDS action!

kick ass

Ive been crushing this film since i saw the trailer a while back, it looks TOO funny. like the hangover but with girls. Well im glad to say it did not disappoint! There were chortles, belly laughs and a few hold my sides im a crackin'. Yup, chuck me some girly banter, toilet humour and bitchy giggles and im easily pleased! (and i think the 2 guys i was with were pleased i was there with them, in fairness they wanted to go see it, but the room was literally filled with girls, they would have stuck out like sore thumbs on their lonesomes!)

The only complaint i had was that the film was loooong. we're talking 2 hours plus with trailers. SNORE. ill make allowances for a good film, but this could have been tweaked down abit methinks. some gags went on a bit long.... and by the time we got out i was HANGRY!

loved this little fella since i was a wee nipper :-p

It also meant i had to skip my afternoon snack and by the time i got home it was later than i usually like to start cooking my dinner AND my mum had started (and almost finished) making hers, which always freaks me (ahem ED) out. I like to be the one having my food first, it throws me off otherwise and i get very panicky. Well this was not different. I FREAKED. i was pacing about not sure what to eat, not sure how to deal with the anxiety, snapping at mum and generally being a royal beehatch :-(

Eventually instead of just trying to rush myself into eating something cos i was "late"... i took a minute to chill, take off my makeup & get into my slouchy clothes and then when i felt abit calmer and my tummy wasnt doing somersaults, i went downstairs and got some food. I was quite proud of the fact that i dealt with the moment of anxiety and calmed myself down. But i was not so pleased that i opted for a "safe" meal to ease the stress. I guess i cant be successful at every turn, i dealt with a major meltdown and came out the other side... thats DEF an achievement to be recognised!

Today has been a challenge. I know i have to get myself stuck into some kind of routine before my ED gets a chance to have me slip back into my non-work routine: late breakfasts, lack of snacks, skipping lunch, overexercising to fill the sudden mass of freetime. All this = NOT GOOD. So this morning i started what i hope to be "a new, fresh chance"....

Ive struggled with exercise for a while now, i was reluctant to admit it cos what i do isnt "hardcore" exercising. I dont spend hours in the gym, i cant run to save my life! but what i DO do (walking or riding my bike) is obsessive and ED driven. Annoyingly these are two things that i love doing, they relax me, chill me out and give me a bit of time-out from my life stresses. I also love to be outdoors and since im not the type to just sit outside mindlessly, i like to be outside doing something... moving...

So its been very tough to work out which part of me is doing this for pleasure and which is doing it cos i feel i have to. i dont want to STOP walking or riding my bike, cos i genuinly enjoy it and think that would be detrimental to cut that small window of feeling happy in my body, and also id get very bored and anxious if i was cooped up inside all day! But then i do want to address the feelings of compulsion towards it. if i dont feel like going out, then i shouldnt HAVE to, likewise if its raining, i dont want to make myself go out and get wet simply so i dont "miss" a day. thats silly! (and nobody likes rain-hair anyway!)

It is perfectly ok not to do "set" exercise every day.... but sometimes my brain doesnt let me see the truth for the lies. I feel very confused as to what is a normal amount of exercise. i read blogs that show people eating clean and exercising alot. Sure alot of them ARE healthy and they have found a balance that works for them... but that doesnt mean that i have to be the same. we are all different and i admit that i fall foul to the comparison game all too often. Mainly just by trying to figure out what to do!!! I feel lazy if i dont do anything, but then i think that alot of people dont do anything and theyre ok. Just day-to-day movement is fine im sure? But i find myself thinking that to be healthy, you need to be doing cardio AND weights. or just weights... or mainly cardio.. but then people say cardio isnt important, if you want to tone you need to lift. WHAT??!?!?!? my head gets all scrambled and i dont know who i am or what im doing!

I wish i could just let myself stop and re-assess the situation, but i worry that if i STOP, then i wont be able to start again, or ill lose the ability or something silly....

So today my first challenge was to NOT do my morning abs/stretches. I do them everyday and i know deep down that i dont need to. i have read that you shud leave a day between, but i wake up and do it by instinct. But there are days when i dont feel like it and i want to eventually be able to say, MEH, im not fussed about doing it today....

So day ONE with no morning routine! it wasnt so bad, but then id had a lie-in so my usual routine was slightly out of whack anyway. one day is a step, but in order to make it stick, im gonna have to prove i can go the distance. I think for this week i will do one day on one day off, then next week when im helping my cousin nannying her kids, i will be away from home, i will be busy and i will (hopefully) not have time. So THAT will be my challenge.

Sorry this has rambled on abit now. i will stop there!!! i just find that even tho my eating havits are getting better, this feeling of needing to exercise is holding my progress back....

Have you got any advice for me on cutting back on exercise?

Have you struggled with this at all?

what do you believe is a healthy amount of exercise?

do you believe in a balance of weights/cardio or do u think day-to-day life is enough?

(i know its subjective to each individual, but to be honest, i dont have a clue...! im pretty sure its less than i would think tho!)

Enjoy the rest of the week.... I know i will! Ive gotta say, it feels very decadent to be off work in the middle of the week!!! Oh and if you have time, go see BRIDESMAIDS, its wet your pants funny :-)

xxx