dilemma

Hey there party people!

Sorry ive been absent for a smidge there, its been another crazy week here in schools-ville. The end of term is always abit mad, but the end of the YEAR?!?! well... you do the maths (cos im pretty sure the kids arent bothering! pay attention in lessons in the last week of term?! NO TA!!!)

Hehe, its all good tho. I like the buzz. everyones upbeat and there's an atmosphere of anticipation all around... it keeps me on my toes (especially when my end of term eyes are already set to snooze) and combined with the crackle of the humidity in the air... boy, it feels like summer's almost here! (even tho technically or shud i say "calenderly" :p , it already is summertime. Naaa, i dunno about you, but for me its never the summer holidays till schools out!)

Anyways, today we had a meeting after school about this boy who's moving up from the junior school to the seniors... now this boy has special needs. and not just any old special needs... he has some SERIOUS needs. he isnt even yet on the national curriculum scale and has the emotive and mental age of a 5yr old. He has coped ok in the softer side of the junior school, but despite STRONG opposition from staff, his carers and even the Learning Support Authorities, the parents want him to move up to senior school.

OH DEAR.

this boy is gonna be eaten alive :-(

He is a sweet boy but i really feel that he should be in a special school with other children like him... I mean, its not like the senior pupils are monsters... but theyre still kids at the end of the day, and they will always be confused by the people who are different. This boy has serious anxiety issues and gets very panicked and upset by change or disruption... something that is totally unavoidable in a school full of unpredictable students. There's not alot we can do about it, since the parents are adamant that they want him to move up. But im concerned to say the least... i mean would YOU let a boy of (technically) 5years of age, with social and academic struggles loose with a bunch of senior school kids??? i certainly wouldnt.

So this meeting was a bit of a minefield. As a teacher, i am not happy about the fact that i will have to adapt all my lessons to fit someone who cannot participate with the rest of the group... i just dont see the point in him trying to join in when he cant, its not his fault. I feel strongly that children like that need to be in a specially structured school, with set routine and people who can help them get the most out of their time there. Not forcing them to be pushed up front and personal with their biggest fears on a daily if not hourly basis... its not fair, and i dont think this boy will be very happy.

STILL, i wont waffle on about that too much. Just that it has left me in quite a thoughtful mood. Its made me think about alot of my own issues and whether or not im facing up to MY fears. Do you think that its wise for a person to be forced to something that makes them uncomfortable, whether or not its in their "best interests", if it makes that person miserable??? I think that its important to confront your fears and push yourself if you can, but being forced against others advice just stirkes me as mean!

Ive been thinking about how my struggles have been tailing on for so long now, partly because i havent pushed myself to face those fears... I know, I know. Im trying to do this more and more each day, even tho it DOES make me feel like shit! I know its worth it... and the difference is that i WANT it. I know i wont like it, but i was the one who chose it. Like I decided not to go IP so that i could tackle my issues myself, I could have let someone else do it for me... But i want to fight this myself, FOR myself.

Now i think i have to use the strong feelings i feel about this boy to motivate me in pushing through MY fears.... cos i know that i will come out the other side with a better outcome, something im not so sure will happen for this poor boy.

Is there anything that you have felt strongly about that has made you consider you're own struggles/problems??

Did it make you stronger because of it?

Tomo i hope to get my teaching timetable for next year.... its been a long time coming!!! Im excited but hella nervous. Last year they sprung two new subjects on me, so who knows what ill get this year!!!