bloobsplosion!

Now just in case you lovely readers were wondering...

my positive mood continueth!!!

Ive been giving myself more time to think about things and putting less pressure on myself in regards to my recovery and i have to say, its been very nice! Usually i have a tendency to overthink things, which in turn makes me get anxious and then even the littlest things can be blown into a full on stress-fest!

But onto more exciting things, and one thing in particular: the title!

let me explain....

So i mentioned before that part of my CBT in therapy was to do these little 'tasks' in order to retrain my mind and start using mindful thinking (as in, stopping and figuring out why i get triggered by certain things and trying to control it before that trigger results in something negative) well baking some Blueberry Muffins was one of those tasks :-)

See what i mean about the bloobsplosion?!?!

I was pleasantly surprised at how much fun i had putting together these little badboys, finding the right ingredients and mixing everything together and watching as they took shape and started to grow (and then sink, oops!) in the oven, renewed those feelings i had as a kid baking with my mama. I didnt feel stressed out by the food or the thought of what was to come (the eating!) i felt strong... i felt capable... and this made me feel proud of myself!

The task itself invlved alot of writing and thinking, which i wont bore you with :-p

But it opened my eye to alot of the things i do around food and eating, especially when im faced with fear foods. Ill be the first to admit that it was hard! i didnt automatically think OH that muffin is BAAAAD. but i also didnt scoff in down without a second thought!

I ate it slowly, mindfully and fully.

(and it wasnt THAT bad!!!)

It wasnt that great tho either.... i think my second attempt will need some tweaking! BUT at least its convinced myself that i can do it and that there will be a second attempt.

As for therapy, it went well! My T was pleased with the effort id made, not only in terms of gaining weight (i did! woopwoop!) but also with the work id done on my CBT stuff, i think he realises that i DO take this seriously and i am determined to recover from this illness, whatever it takes.... I like to think he was also a little bit pleased that id remembered to bring him the promised blueberry treat :-)

I made him promise to tell me it was yummy, even if he hated it!

So all in all, a good end to the week! Now its saturday and its raining. typical much?!?! Im supposed to be helping mum at this country fair thing tomo, but i dont think it'll be much fun if its raining. Weird tho, cos its usually blazing sunshine, icecreams and coconut shy's.... just goes to show what global warming (or global raining) is doing to us.

What is your favourite fairground attraction??

There's one at this fair where you get to lob balls at a bunch of old crockery,

its basically a massive smash fest!

Still, everyone goes home with alot less anger after a go on that stall! :-p