preeeetty dresses

hello all you lovely people!

thankyou for the messages on the last post, its so nice to hear back with your opinions... i love reading any feedback that you guys have to say :-)

And sooo true, when you get used to sitting around at home and isolating yourself from the possibilities of the outside world, it makes it seem like a scary place... which, sure it CAN be, but it can also an amazing, fun-filled, freeing experience, and im glad ive stepped out of my comfort zone to see that, im loving being out and about and living life! (Now its just that pesky food side to tackle, Grrr :-s)

Anyway, on to my promised post about old queenie and her royal tea parteeee!

I wont gabble on about the specifics of the day, but its safe to say i was pretty nervous about going with my dad and his new family.... Its the first 'proper' time ive met them since they got together and i was going to be the odd one out, so i was a little anxious! But as it happens, it was fine! they were obviously extra nice to me to make up for the fact that i was technically on my own with them... so altho it was a little awkward to begin with, it eased up and i got on well with the daughter (who i knew from whenwe were kids) so that was all good... plus i always love the chance to spend time my daddio :-)

Check out the size of that palace!!!!

When we arrived we had the chance to stroll around the gardens abit before gathering at the main tent area to wait for the queen and her royal party to arrive.... and wait we did. 4:15... 4:30... 4:45!!! then finally at about ten to 5, she shows her little face (i pushed to the front so i could see!) ahhh she's such a sweeeeeet, little thing! Wearing a vision of turquiouse (i think the bright colour is the only way you can spot her, she's so little and cutesome) and so she tottered by, she IS 84 after all :-p and after all that waiting, the job was done. Nooo, i wanted MORE, she didnt even do the royal wave!!! haha. but that signalled time for the tea tent.

Oooooooh... scary

yup, im not gonna lie. This is the part of the day which was the most daunting to me, naturally!

But i sucked it up and pushed those ED thoughts away, cos i KNEW my dad would be watching me to see if i ate.... and i didnt want to make the situation awkward by refusing stuff. Soooo, i dutifully queued and got my sandwiches and cakes and even tho it was by no means a massive amount, it seemed huge on my plate :-(

Sometimes when im faced with situations like this, i feel like im trapped with no way out, im abit like alice when she eats the cake and gets huge (hellllo ED reference there!) i feel like im stuck in my ED box and the walls are getting smaller around me and i cant push them off....

It was so frustrating watching the others enjoy their food and then even go back for more, when i was struggling... i wish more than anything that i could be free of this illness, the hold it has on me is so overpowering sometimes that it seems like i have no control over my own body. how is it possible for a tiny part of my brain to be effectively driven by my ED, why does it have such power, it doesnt deserve it, it sure hasnt earned it.... it makes me HATE it so much! but that is good, believe it or not.... its not a nice feeling, but when i hate it, then i want to fight it. And the fight is what will spur me on to get rid of him forever. Ive just got to keep on fighting....

Anyway, i had alot of fun people spotting and looking at all the pretty dresses, aswell as some of the sliiiightly more inappropriate outfits!!! (i think queenie would have passed out had she seen the woman in the TEEENY miniskirt. maybe on a night out, but not a good look for a royal affair :-p)

So here are some pics of me getting ready:

(apologies for the bad lighting, i was in a rush and the flat was quite dark!)

my vintage dressssss...

Plus jacket...

Prettiest shoes in the world :-)

My "hat'...

Altogether PLUS my groovy iphone case!

So there you go! not everyday you get to dress for the queen... but im really glad i went, despite it being a challenging day and ED would've preffered me to stay home and eat my usual safe foods... it was good for me to get out and experience normality.

(not that that is a normal day for me, but hey.... whos complaining?!)

Im also pretty sure it contributed to my relaxed feeling about meeting my friend yest, cos id been so worried about the garden party, meeting a friend in town for some hang time seemed like an easy comparison!

Onwards and Upwards my friends.... Stay strong, cos if i can do it. SO CAN YOU!!!! :-p

all my love and happy weekend vibes!!

xxxxx