No stress :)

Well people, its a beautiful morning, the sun is out and i have a week off work for half term....

Its safe to say ive got a grin on my face 

on my FACE not my feeeeeeet!

:-)

Ahhh... I feel peaceful today, im going to walk the dog along the river to the little village where my mum is running a stall at a vintage fair in a bit...  cos i said id help her out. But weirdly, I dont feel the urge to rush and power-walk there. I dont feel like i have to get worked up about time and then hurry and stress and panic, like i normally do in the mornings. I just feel OK with things... God knows how long that will last!!! But maybe, just maybe...

NOPE, im not gonna say anything else! i dont wanna jinx this happy vibe :p Im just gonna go about my day and not over-think it. Overthinking is my biggest vice, i can literally turn a good thing into a problem within the space of a few seconds. Its not one of my best qualities!

Soooo, ive said id help out at the fair today and tomo - despite the fact that it might be hella boring (mum says there arent many people there yet) and i might end up just sitting around all day (HA, take that anorexia!) Im kindof excited to just go down there and chill, y'know... to not have to worry about getting stuff ready for work or to fill the time by going walking or "doing" something. In fact, the idea of not having to worry about doing ANYTHING will be a pleasant change!! Im even getting a lift with the mumatron tomo, so i wont be walking either... Yup. this week is about relaxation and NO unnecessary exercise!! (today im walking cos its sunny and mum left at 7:30am to set up... do you blame me? i didnt fancy a 7am wakeup call on my lie-in day thankyou muchly!) 

So yeah, a week off to try and get my chill-face on. My lovely recovery friend has accepted the challenge of helping me to put together a "week-off" plan, so that i have some structure for my time without the usual routine of work. Hopefully that will help keep me on track and also allow me to push myself a bit with food and activity. I really struggle with empty time and holidays are prime anorexic time for me, as i dont have to eat at set times and i have all this empty time that needs to be filled (with walking...) Which is 100% NOT what i want for this holiday! So finding activities that will keep me occupied while not being too physical is a must! Then hopefully when i go back to work next week, ill be in a good position to chill out abit more... Cos, lukcily i CAN chill out at work abit now! We've reached the midway point in the summer term, so its pretty much easy riding from here! We've had the big scary inspection, we've had exam week... I just have to write up the pupils reports now and then its all downhill till we break up and i LEAVE!!! 

And speaking of leaving... THIS GIRL BOOKED HER FLIGHTS YESTERDAY!!!! so its all done, im going to Oz. The flights are booked and the money has been removed from my bank account (eeeek!) It still hasnt really sunk in, but thats probably cos there's a whole lot to get through in the next 4months before i go! I have to finish up at work, i have to find and work a summer job (this one is hopefully almost sorted) And the biggie...? i have to gain and maintain some decent weight (id like to gain at least a stone...) and to do that, i also have to let go of alot of things so that i can feel comfortable setting off on what could be the adventure of my life!

do other peoples adventures involve grinding coffee on a woodland cliff?!

So... not much then eh?! 

haha.

Either way, im not gonna stress about stuff right now. Ive worried and panicked enough over the last few years to last me a lifetime... well im ready to be STRESS-free for a while. And while that might mean i have to be a little selfish at times, well thats what i have to do. Ive been people-pleasing for far too long... its time to try and learn how to CLEM-please for a change!!

So off i go... ready to live my day! 

ahh, if only my day included a room full of balloons...

Have a lovely "rest-of-the-weekend" everyone and I will be back with some picturoos and an update on my hypnotherapy sesh from the other day. I do want to talk about it properly, so dont worry... i havent forgotten!!