Tomo my school are holding a charity bake sale for an ex-pupil with cancer... It is gonna be a big old affair and my form, the little pickles have grouped together to make a LOAD of cakes and cookies etc to sell... aaaand
...theyve even made a whole "dairy-free" selection for me :-)
how freaking CUTE is that?!?!
Urhh, so damn cute that i might just have to kick my nasty ED to the floor, stamp on it and eat a damn cake. I really dont want to disappoint my kids and i know even if their cakes taste like poo - they will want me to say they are amazeballs. and that peeps, is what i will do... cos a good teacher doesnt shy away from food just cos she is scared of it.... a GOOD teacher embraces her fears and takes a bite regardless of that fear.
CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP
On top of that, it looks like its gonna be a whole day of challenges, cos in the evening i have accepted a dinner-date round my friend M-A's... her and her housemate are making me a dairy-free meal so that i can start trying new things.... im not sure exactly what we're having but i think its some form of curry??? EEEEEK!!!
Luckily, Im too tired/busy/stressed to let myself get too worried about it! Its only 3more days till we break for half-term week, wooooo!! but UH-OH... isnt that when i said id start my "no-additional-activity" week?! ahem. OH yes!!! So with that on the go, i know ill need to prepare myself for the shit-ton of anxiety and guilt that thats going to land me in. Safe to say ive already started trying to fill up my free-time that week with fun things to do to keep my mind of it!!! (aswell as a bucketload of work i need to get done :-p)
So yes, this is gonna be one hell of a week..... but in a way, its kindof exciting!! changes are afoot my friends. and i have to really make myself DO this. Once and for all... cos I cant live off excuses anymore. that certainly didnt get me anywhere and if im going to give this a shot, i need a clean break from all those anorexic behaviours. i need to jump headfirst into this badboy. no testing the water first. ive dipped my toe into the recovery pool waaaay too many times yet. im starting to think its alot harder to do it in "steps" maybe taking the leap headfirst into oblivion is the way to go??!? any success stories on this?! i would TOTES love a reassuring, "just do it clem" right about now!!!
easier said than done!!!
Of course you should try one of the cakes tomorrow :) Dont let your ED get in the way.. i mean a cake or two WONT make you gain weight... it wont have ANY affect on you at all.Just enjoy them... it might surprise you, they might be good? :)
ReplyDeleteI am so proud of you that you are going to do the 'no additional exercise' week!! Trust me... it will be worth it in the long run. To not be haunted by your exercise addiction!! :) And good thing to plan your day!! :) Do fun things, take your mind off exercise :) I am proud of you!!! :)
Just keep strong, no matter what. and remember, NOTHING bad will happen if you dont exercise!!! :) Its the truth.. even though it may be hard to believe, ive been in the same boat as you, so i know how hard it is.
And just go all the way.. i mean, dont do the 'no exercise' thing for one day, only to do loads of exercise the next... thats compensation.... its like saying, ill eat the bun... but then i wont eat for 2 days.... that doesnt work.
You have to give it all!! 100%.. not 99%... but that extra 1% as well :)
You can do it :)
&&&Just wondering, what do you teach? i.e what subjects? :)
Have a great day tomorrow, and enjoy dinner and the bake sale :)
thinking of you and your challenge day sweetheart,
ReplyDeleteyou can bloody well do this! xo