weekendwoops

Ahh you've gotta love that friday feeling.... its like the world just seems BETTER on a friday!!

the number 13 isnt gonna spoil MY day!!

well, that is unless you were my sorry self last friday, in which i hobble-ran (yes its possible, but its not cute and they dont allow it in the gym) my way home with an extremely nasssty stomach. DONT worry, i wont go into detail! if you've heard about my weekend of woe last week, thank GOD im feeling better!!! (there were a few sketchy days, but i feel myself getting abit stronger again, phews...)

And I think i can credit some of that with the fact that i have been eating better :-) oh yeeeeah!

After basically 3days of 'in bed-feeling sick-with no food', i was fully ready to embrace my inner munch-bunch.

old school ads are always the best

Annoyingly i had a therapy appt on monday which i was damned if i was gonna miss, i hadnt been since the whole "telling them i didnt rate their services" rant before xmas, so even tho i didnt really wanna go anyways, id pushed myself to be ok with it and i knew i had to check in... So off i went. Rocking my best sickly face (cos lets face it, nobody looks good when theyre ill. I go with the belief that its a time to get away with wearing pj's as clothes and not washing my hair... im hot like that) I know i looked good, cos my therapist looked at me and said "you really didnt HAVE to come". gee, thanks bro.

what do you meeeean "i dont look too good"?!

Anyways, as predicted, it wasnt the most productive session. Weight was down (and he was surprised, really?!) I explained that obvs i hadnt been able to eat much so i knew most of it was lack of fluids (id weighed myself after xmas and id managed to maintain my pre-xmas weight despite the mental struggles with the fam/boy etc) but i didnt mention that!! what i DID do, was remind him that i HAD said i would struggle over xmas, but he hadnt given me any support or the option to get more help via IP. Hmm, clearly not so hot on the old memory game!! But then came the big "piss-me-off-why-dontcha"... he said,

"cos at this low weight you could be a candidate for admission"

i mean... what the hell!?!

Id asked for help before xmas, id SAID i was willing to go IP if thats what it took and they said no. they said it wasnt available, that i didnt have that option and id have to wait for the day-patient programme they intend to open sometimes next time sometime never (ok, apparently its APRIL now... but ill believe that when i see it) So i was pissed. rightly so?!

Ah, hey ho. whats the point dwelling on the damage done now. im getting my shit together... yeah, ME. not them. and altho im very grateful for the advice they have given me, i think its time to try and do it my way.

Which is going ok so far... thankyou very much!

Im not gonna say its been easy or that im doing great. cos im taking it step by step. but ACTUAL steps, not those "yea im doing it but im not really cos i do it once then i freak out and dont try it again" type steps :-p

This week it was trying to

a) eat again!!! that was pretty easy cos while i was sick, i was literally PRAYING for the chance to start eating proper food again!

b) get a regular pattern to my eating. not waiting and waiting and delaying eating until the last minute. SO that meant 3 proper meals and snacks. CHECK! (this was ok cos im back at school, but this weekend is the crucher)

c)trying to cut down on the strength-stretching and walking. this is still my biggest weakness, cos i cant seem to get out of what is a fully fledged habit. i didnt stretch when i was sick cos my main work is core and obvs my stomach wasnt having any of that plank nonsense!! but i have to confess that as soon as i felt stronger i wanted to get outside and walk abit, i HAVE taken it easy, but the stretching has come back in.... sneaky little bugger! i dunno, i DO feel better when ive done it, but i realise that doing it 7days a week isnt actually healthy and is probs not doing my body any good anyway, after all... they say muscles need time to repair and heal and all that. 3-4days is what ive read, but i am finding it really hard to decide when to do it and how to cut back to that limit....

Anyways. this weeken will be a real test. i have to keep in mind that i should treat it as a normal weekday. it sucks to wake up early when its a weekend, but i KNOW that when i lie in, i put back eating breakfast till 11 or even gone 12. then snack is gone, lunch is out... its bad.

STRUCTURE is my friend right now!

As it happens, i have a pretty cool day planned tomo, cos im going to see this art critic do a talk at the new big gallery thats opened. Whats extra cool, is that this woman used to live in my old house when she was a kid, she knows all kinds of famous arty people and even helped me with my dissertation when i was at uni! (basically, she rocks... m'kaaay)

So that should be fun. Im going with the mumatron for a nice girly trip :-) its been ages since ive done anything with my mum, espesh after the family xmas from "Gaaaah!" (i dont wanna say hell, cos it really wasnt THAT bad... i mean i did get to chill on a french beach!)

Sunday is looking free and easy at the mo. possibly a little hangtime with the boy if he has a free day, otherwise i might pester some of my other boymates to keep me company!!! (and then theres always the dreaded work to do... but hey, its the WEEKEND!)

What are you upto this weekend?

Do you like spending one on one time with your mum?

Have a good'un... whatever your doing!

:-)