Morning chickadees,
i return with a little sly smile on my chops. Cos i looked back over thursdays post and i laughed. Man i cane be such a drama queen!! Yes, it was a poo day and i was in a sucky mood. but believe me, in my little rambled world, a bad mood or a sulk doesnt last all that long...
im not one to bear grudges and i hate feeling blue, so what do i do?! i pick my sorry ass up and i find something to make me smile....
never fails
Something that always makes me smile? THE WEEKEND!!! woopwoop!
cos if theres one thing that will guarantee a happy face its that friday feeling, when i know i wont have to get up at 6am and i can sleeeeeep and then do whatever i want with the day. phews... i needed it after this week!
So here we are, saturday morning (i say morning, cos ive only just got up i do appreciate that its almost midday. hahahaha, i love me some sleep) i will give you another reason that im in such a buzz-worthy news, and its certainly not the fact that my kitchen/builder situation has progressed to there now no longer being a WALL! gah, its crazy down there, but.... we have a sink again. YIP!!! it was getting a bit tiresome taking my dirty dishes up to wash in the shower, plus shower gel < washing up liquid, every time :-p
No, the REAL reason for the smiles is that i had my big bad lesson observation yesterday. this is the one that i have once a year with the headmaster, where he sits in on one of my classes and then tells me whether or not im a good teacher, basically! scary, yessir. but its an important part of developing my skills and not becoming one of those "lazy" teachers (y'know, the one that i am the other 264 days of the year when im NOT observed. hahaha, i kid... ok, maybe not. well SOMETIMES, oh forget it!)
Yeah, so all the artsy craftsy stuff i prepped last week paid off, the kids loved it, he seemed to love it, he said he was very impressed when we had the verbal feedback after school now all i have to wait for is the written feedback that will go on my file. EEK!!! im pretty positive about it, but ohmylordy, its been a week in the making. ive been so busy!!! I have to admit that after the nightmare of thurs i wasnt feeling too hot for fri, but luckily the obs was last lesson, so i had the whole day to get back into my groove, which luckily... i DID!!!
now its done and i can relax abit. I didnt do so great on the eats on fri, i was running on adrenaline and so didnt really prioritise my eating (silly) so i know i have to get back on track asap. Ive been finding myself lately less stressed by what i eat. fear foods are still a big issue, but i am loosening up my control over the choices i make. i no longer ONLY have my bigger cal meals if i have restricted or exercised more. i am trying to eat what i fancy instead, its working out better!! altho there are times weirdly, when i fancy something LESS and then i feel bad cos i feel like i should have more, but i cant bring myself to upp it somewhere else. im still quite rigid with what i can have when, i dont like to deviate from the things i have at certain times... but i i ntend to crack on with that by introducing some food fear challenges over the next few weeks. i need to up my game and by facing some things head-on, i will be able to push past my comfort zone and get back into the swing of progressing.
As for the exercise, that is still a big burden on my mind. i have managed to NOT stretch on one or two days, but its still a big compulsion. i worry about loosing definition over my body, even tho i know that there is not much point doing these toning exercises when i have no fat to tone. I just stress about re-distributing. but then i look in the mirror and i see that my stomach is still poofy regardless of how many abs exercises i do... so i think "whats the point". im making it harder on myself and i think despite the fact that for me its all about the stomach, i am making it worse on my arms and non-existant booty by continuing with this routine. much better to stop (or at least significantly reduce) while i give myself a chance to heal and then focus on getting strong and fit when i have a body that can support that.
i did a different thing today. instead of my very forced routine, i did some yoga moves i found online, ive been thinking about yoga and its benefits to recovery. its not too high-impact and it allows me to slow down my routine so that im not justtrying to get the most "burn" factor. i am thinking about my breathing and my body and its movements more. its not a race! i like that.. i feel like im always rushing from place to place, even if im not in a hurry.. i still feel the need to be rushing. it cant be healthy.... i need to let that chill-factor in. breathe and relax. time isnt in short supply, its there to be enjoyed not rushed!
So back to the present. I am sitting here like a doofus with a shower cap on my head cos ive done a hair mask :-) i went downstairs to make my breakfast and the builders looked at me like "nice 'do lady" and i was all, "hells yeah bro... i make this plastic headwear look GOOD"...!!
Ahh, i love making banter with foreign builders who dont understand the majority of what i say, its so refreshing. i can literally spout out all my nonsense babblings and they just think im this crazy cute english chick (luckily they've know me a while, i dont think they worry too much anymore!) i dont even know what today will hold. i plan to take the pooch on a nice gentle stroll cos its NOT raining for a change!! The mumatron has promised to try and make some "us-time" tomo, cos today she is up in london again viewing a property with my sis and delivering stock etc... SO the plan is possibly to go to Norwich, the big town where the boy lives (he isnt there sadly, he's doing band stuff this weekend) but i always love going to this town, there are so many cool shops and quirky little cafes and places to look at, i always feel bad dragging him shopping, so im taking the mumatron instead. HAH! The deal is that if we go, we have to have lunch out somewhere... like a proper sit down somewhere and order something, not just grabbing a sandwich from m&s. its scary, but i know i need to get used to eating out at lunchtime... its a major fear for me to eat a meal in the middle of the day, but here's to trying new things eh?! im hoping to have a proper lunch AND a pudding if i can....
WISH ME LUCK!!!
i used to have a pony & i collected MANY a horseshoe for luck!
and i hope YOU have a grand old weekend too!
make sure u give urself a sneaky sly smile-face for me :-)
xx
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