whoa there tiger!

Ummm, can we stop and take a second here. Cos when the hell did it get to being friday?! i just checked my last post and that was from SATURDAY... like LAST saturday, as in almost a week ago.

Holy potato!

I guess i HAVE been a busy bee.... which kindof figures why i looked abit like this most of today :-p

i need to get some of these sleep-glasses...

Soooo... party people...

whats poppin'..? hows it hanging? whats yo BiZnAss?!

baha. i can only apologise. im slightly hyped up after a week of a hellovalotof work and not a whole bunch of zzz's. hmm. if only i liked coffee as much as my american girrrrrls :-p (you know who you are, starbucks lovaaahs!!)

apparently the bigger the better?!

Fancy a little run down of the week chez-moi?! m'okaaay then, but it best be a shortie cos i have some seriously important shizz (sleeping) to do :-)

So... Monday.

BACK TO WORK!!! after a much needed week off for half term it was all go back on monday morning... im so glad i kicked the whole "i-must-walk-into-work-every-morning" thing, cos my GOD the weather is a puddle of plop right now. rain rain rain. its non-stop! i hate the rain by the way, it makes me an angry bear, seriously. a proper bee-hatch. which is mad cos im usually SO damn sweet :-p haha.

what else happened... oh yeah. it was halloween! no great smokes there im afraid. id LOVE to say i popped on my bear outfit and romped about town trick or treating, but id be wearing some flaming hot, burning pants right now, cos i didnt.

Instead i sat home and got work done while my annoying pooch barked ENDLESSLY at all the little kids laughing and running about dressed as very unscary ghosts/witches/vampires... outside.

Boo Hiss :-p

Tuesday was uneventful: nuff said!

Wednesday was pretty crazy cos i had to prepare everything for parents evening the following night and THEN go see my therapist after work (weigh-in and all) but dun dun durrr.

i GAINED!!!

Which im pleased about cos i had lost the previous week when i saw my dietician... partly cos of my freakout early in the week and my sis and stuff. i saw it coming, but then it STILL always gets me when the scale hops back up... GAH, i wish i wasnt bothered by this stuff. cos the actual number doesnt faze me, its the actual process of gaining weight and the mental crap that buzzes round my head 24/7 that bugs me. i hate feeling BAD for being a couple of numbers up... its crazy cos i get such mixed feelings. i feel happy that i gained, confused that i gained so much so fast when i didnt change a whole lot and then guilty cos secretly i feel abit down that i gained. urgh, i didnt let it get to me and i PROUD cos i didnt restrict at all before the weigh-in. in fact, i had a bigger lunch than the day before, so HA. take that stupid ED....

Thursday was a looooong day. up early, lots of work. its my nasty busy day anyway, and safe to say it was made even longer and harder by the fact that i had to sit in a stuffy room for FOUR hours after i finished work to meet and greet parents and discuss their kids progress.... snores ahoy. basically.

Oh and plus it went on longer than i thought, cos SO many parents turned up late and didnt stick to their appointment times... so when i DID eventually get home (and yes, it was raining and dark when i left.. thanks karma) it was past dinnertime and i was just NOT in the mood to eat/make anything. usually id have used this as a perfect excuse to skip dinner, but my mum reminded me that im trying to get better and kick those bad habits (bless her, LOVEEEE to the mumatron!) so i made a snackeroo dinner of lots of cereal, some muffins and biscuits. yeah, nutritious delicious right?! my sweet tooth was raging for a change :-)

So i did ok. i think....

Im pleased that i didnt give in to my usual habits. my eating is getting better and my willpower stronger with it. this is positive! if only i could blitz he thoughts in my head that make me want to exercise. i know i CANT exercise, but my god does it make me feel like a lazy lump that im not doing as much as ED would like me to. thats when i have to keep reminding myself that what im doing right now is MORE than enough. in fact i should be doing nothing at all...

be strong mentally. get better. be stronger physically.

i think thats gonna be my new chant!

(well, until i slump onto the sofa in a post busy-week stupor)

Enjoy this friday eve people and dont forget its bonfire night tomo!!!

bring on the fireworks. woopwoop!!

xxx