suspense!

Yeah, im sorry... i kinda got swept up in the "doing" and didnt get round to actually, doing... wait. hang on, does that make sense?!? hmm.

OH well!

Im in MELBOOOOOURNE BABY!! its pretty rad. and to top it off, the mothership is out here visiting for three weeks. Woopwoop!!!

But lets not hurry. Ill hop back to the start...

So i arrived in melbourne a week or so ago and after a slightly random crazy night out in the city (it was a special event so the whole city was packed with people and music/arts!) We caught a loooong train upto the hills to stay with my very old friend E, who ive known since high school. She is a proper hippy happy forest dweller and moved over to Oz about 8years ago, so i havent seen her in AGES!

melbournes 'white night' event

It was lovely reconnecting and also being in such a calm and tranquil place - her house is called the martin street retreat and its all about lazy days and "rancho relaxo" as she called it :) Ive gotta say, altho im a girl who likes her creature comforts (there was no tv, limited hot water and alot of bits and bobs around the place...) it was homely and it was something i needed. I had started to get caught up in the "busy busy busy" pace of sydney and working in the cafe and i realised that i had to take it back a notch or i would just slip right back into my restrictive and compulsive ED habits.

SO - i rested. i napped. i read my book. i went for slow walks through the forest... basically i chilled out and tried to get over some of my silly obsessive habits like exercising, eating certain things at certain times, being generally anal! haha... And MAN it was a challenge. but i think it was actually alot easier being out in the middle of nowhere and feeling practically isolated. i didnt worry about what i looked like or anything. i just let it go....

hammock love :)

modelling my friends music program poster!

experiencing the aussie wildlife...

chilling on the beach...

SO when i arrived in Melbs to pick up my mother, one of the first things we did was go for a massage - get my legs waxed and have a haircut.... AHHHHHH. perfect rejuvination :)

While i was staying with my friend, i helped out nannying for one of ther colleagues little daughter. She is such a cutie and when they asked me to come and stay at their beach house down by melbourne and help out for a bit till my mum came... i jumped at the chance! Hanging out on the beach with a gorgous little bubster - ummm, M'okay!!!

i learnt to move on from my "sand/suncream" phobia!

sunsets and boat races...

Anyways, that was fun. Now the mumster has arrived and we are about to move closer to the main city of Melbourne, staying near St Kilda until we fly back to Sydney for a week or so there... Its lovely being here with my mum, but it can be quite triggering. Im figuring out how to balance my ED and cope with the dramas that come with family! But its a work in progress... i wont pretend i wasnt abit upset when i notcied my ED voice getting louder and more demanding when my mum came. But i refuse to let it influence my behaviour - i dont want to be the bratty spoiled ED girl, demanding things go HER way and generally being  grumpy miserable cowbag.... Hells no! I want to be the kind, sharing daughter, who can enjoy spending time with her mother in an amazing place - away from home, away from work. So im not about to ruin that JUST cos my ED is getting snotty.

my lovely mamakins :)

So now i have to stay strong, fight harder, be braver, take chances that id normally shy away from and BE the girl i want to be... i believe i can. Hell, i already have! Yesterday i felt like pizza, so we went for pizza... totally unplanned and damn did it taste good :p

It feels good to let go and do what I want to do for a change, instead of beating myself up with guilt... screw that! and frankly SCREW my ED!!!

 I dont need you anymore...

cos im off to enjoy my LIFE, thankyou very much 

Seeeeeya!